America has been duped once again in a masterful bait and switch by the Republican media machine. Just as a slumbering populace and previously toothless mainstream media establishment was being shaken awake by the critical story on the treasonous outing of CIA agent Valerie Plame by White House political apartchik goons, a breach of national security that could reach to the top levels of this most corrupt of administrations, the seamless segue to the Discovery space shuttle dilemma was grabbing headlines and television news time. This story immediately relegated any mention of Karl ‘Turd Blossom’ Rove to Doonesbury comic strips that could be easily censored by news corporations determined not to offend the hicks in the red states who are too juiced on GOP Jesus and whipped into a nationalist frenzy wrapped in the flag hell bent on unquestionably following their supreme leader while seeking to destroy those with the unpatriotic gall to dare to suggest that the emperor not only has no clothes but may be in fact be a stark, raving lunatic as well. This latest bit of chicanery is nothing more than a blatant attempt to obstruct justice by working to impede or otherwise destroy the ability of a special prosecutor and grand jury to investigate and enforce the law on a gravely serious matter that constitutes the most treasonous breach of national security in U.S. history. When an undercover operative working on WMD issues in a time of war when the threat of terrorism hangs over our heads for purely political reasons it is a matter that must be severly punished in order for the system itself to maintain legitimacy. Then again, matters of the law, just as with traditional domestic and international political protocol and the will of the people are just nuisances to the Bush-Cheney junta, trivial concepts to be swatted away as though they were flies and gnats pestering the elite at a family picnic and polo tournament on the shores of Kennebunkport.
You could see it coming as the death of beloved Star Trek character James ‘Scotty’ Doohan received far too much attention last week quickly followed by renewed space based activity among the vipers in the House snake pit who suddenly began debate on Bush’s manned space flights to the Moon and Mars that were earlier junked after little popular support and much ridicule. It was as though good ole Scotty was able perform one last daring rescue by finding enough juice in the dylithium crystals to kick off the transporter one final time as he himself beamed up for good and beamed the Bushies off of the firing line. This respite will allow just enough time for the GOP goon squad to work their black magic and lay the groundwork for the imminent wet work to be performed on U.S. Attorney Patrick Fitzgerald who just happens to conduct his operations in the jurisdiction of the House Speaker Dennis ‘Jabba the Hutt’ Hastert. ‘Denny’ is the fat, wheezy pig who acts as the front man for conniving bastard and pathological criminal Tom Delay, another Texan flim flam man seeking to use every dirty trick in the book in order to slither his way out of several ongoing investigations that could lead to his own indictment on criminal charges.
The drooling simpletons in this country have always been transfixed by space stories, from the fantastic writings of Jules Verne and H.G. Wells to the early days of cinema where Flash Gordon and other movie serials thrilled moviegoers, to the advent of the television era which produced the first classic shows that would forever plant the flag squarely in the center of the rapidly growing sci-fi geek subculture as well as claim a home base from which future missions into the increasingly desolate territory of the American mind would be conducted. The original Star Trek series became a pop culture phenomenon that has since spawned countless spinoffs, takeoffs and rip offs. The sales of sci fi memorabilia has made many a merchandiser wealthy beyond the wildest dreams of king Midas, they have reaped their riches through the obsessions of those childlike individuals who turn entire rooms into shrines to Captain James T. Kirk, Captain Jean Luc Picard, Darth Vader and Boba Fett. They descend en masse on cities holding sci-fi conventions dressed as Imperial Storm Troopers, Romulans and Jedi warriors and name their pets Tiberius (the T in Captain James T. Kirk) in order to escape their entrapment in the existential hell of lousy jobs, bad relationships, lack of health insurance, loneliness, fear and an overall declining standard of living facilitated by the destruction of the middle class. The geeks who didn’t devote their lives to indulging their space fascinations by living vicariously through earthbound space cults either grew out of it or splintered off into groups whose mania progressed into a far more dangerous sector of the galaxy once they discovered the apocalyptic ravings of Hal Lindsay and The Late Great Planet Earth. This bastardized melding of religion and sci fi generated its own spinoffs including today’s mega million dollar Left Behind franchise which would in and of itself become a mobilizing factor for millions seeking to kick off the rapture and the return of Jesus by becoming vocal advocates for global warfare and Armageddon itself.
It is the galactic curse of the intelligent life that remains (while slowly dwindling) here on this lovely blue orb of a planet that the modern day Republican party has captured both of these cults in it’s tractor beam and harnassed their power to assist in the building of the Deathstar. Having learned a lesson on the power of space travel and its effect on American mass culture when the 1969 Apollo XI lunar landing knocked both the nefarious machinations of Richard Nixon’s thug army as well as the horrors of Viet Nam off of the front pages and evening news broadcasts, the radical right would ensure that an entire section of their neo fascist playbook would consist of exactly the type of diversionary tactics proven to mesmerize the public. A public which in the 36 years since the voice of Neil Armstrong was broadcast from the surface of the moon has reached the event horizon of the black hole and is increasingly becoming so fixated on fantasy that it is difficult for most to separate it from reality. We may have nationally jumped the shark at the time that the words “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind” were broadcast to the masses, Walter Cronkite himself teared up a bit during the broadcast as millions of others surely did. Little did we know at the time that the great leap would be into the abyss.
During my adolescent years in the 1970’s those who were among the biggest consumers of the epic tales of the space travel and infinite universal possibilities were derisively known as ‘the geek squad’, a bunch of brainy nerds who spent their free periods and lunch hours huddled over Avalon Hill board games in the school library and had their bedroom walls adorned with posters of Han Solo, R2-D2, C3PO and Chewbacca while the ‘normal’ kids tacked up pictures of the scantily clad Cheryl Tiegs and Farrah Fawcett, played football and listened to Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin. ‘The geek squad’ all wore horn rimmed glasses, had no interest in girls, sports or rock and roll and when not reenacting the D-Day invasion or the battle of Gettysburg with little multi-colored cardboard squares on a large map board, spent their days writing cryptic code for the extremely crude computers of the time. Now that everyone has grown up the little bastards are all likely tech millionaires or think tank neocons: exactly the type of people who are now running the country.
Knowing all too well the effectiveness of tales of interstellar wonder, the right wing echo chamber will undoubtably milk the shuttle story 24/7 until the next pervert scandal, missing WASP teenager or London terrorist suspect arrest occurs. Space shuttle foam will become as much a household term as shaving cream once the cable news shows do their job in gently redirecting the American public back onto it’s normal course: cruising along in the nebula of ignorance and stupidity. Once the coordinates have been set, then you can rest assured that Republican Klingons will begin to hunt down Patrick Fitzgerald with their phasers set to kill.