Slow Roasting Pork

The jolly fat man is singing. He is dancing in the streets at a party in a nice neighborhood on the outskirts of Chicago. He is wearing the pancake makeup and costume of a clown, making balloon animals for children. He is the envy of many and he is a successful man, a Christian man whose family values and membership in respectful organizations like the Jaycees made him a role model to those unsuspecting of his dark side and hidden impulses.

Police investigating a series of disappearances of young men eventually came to suspect John Wayne Gacy and by the time that 29 bodies were dug up on his property his name was guaranteed to live in infamy for not only his sadistic cruelty and homosexual deviance in torturing and murdering 33 male victims who had been lured into the web of the evil sexual predator but for his banality.

I personally find it humorous for some bizarre reason that I am unable to explain that John Wayne Gacy’s suburban Illinois home where the corpses were excavated is not far from the stomping grounds of one John Dennis Hastert, another singing and dancing Chicago area fat man who today finds his acre of ass entrapped in a very ugly, burgeoning scandal that is turning into a media circus involving the cover-up of the conduct of a Republican Congressman and sexual predator for the sake of political expediency.

Despite his steadfast refusal to resign his post as Speaker of the House over the failure to adequately address warnings that Mark Foley was possibly just a little bit more than “overly friendly” John Dennis Hastert is running out of room to maneuver. His much ballyhooed at the time American Values Agenda has ignited in his chubby fingers like a prank bag of flaming dogshit and with each passing day more of those who had been previously duped and hornswoggled by GOP snake oil salesmen are beginning to slowly come to the realization that the only family with ‘values‘ along the lines of those of the Republicans is the Manson Family. It is hard to suppress guffaws of sardonic laughter when reading the following statement from Jabba the Hastert that was issued only a few short months ago:

“The American Values Agenda will defend America’s founding principles. Through this agenda, we will work to protect the faith of our people, the sanctity of life and freedoms outlined by our founding fathers. Radical courts have attempted to gut our religious freedom and redefine the value system on which America was built. We hope to restore some of those basic values through passing this legislative agenda and renewing our country’s commitment to faith, freedom and life.”

That was back at the end of June when Republicans were getting their swagger back and braying their trademark nationalist outrage at ‘America haters’ who did not support the flag burning amendment that is normally rolled out just in time for the Fouth of July but a few months is an eternity in the game of politics where glory is fleeting and infamy long lasting.

Just like his master Tom DeLay did when he was going down, the porcine Hastert took the low road of a career scoundrel and in the true spirit of the culture of victimization that is the authoritarian hard right he blamed his own failings on somebody else. Pity the poor right-wingers, they are always the victims. If it’s not women, homosexuals, trial lawyers, Commies, judges, the ACLU it is the liberals fault and ABC too for not succumbing to bribery and pressure and going ahead with the Foley story. When a skunk is cornered it sprays in every direction seeking to contaminate the air so it can escape, the longtime Rovian strategy is to muddy the waters in order to confuse and distract and to smear and slime and hurl accusations at phantoms so the fat slob took to the airwaves on the pill popper’s show to get the message out to the angry army and circumvent the goddamned, fucking liberal media:

“We have a story to tell, and the Democrats have — in my view have — put this thing forward to try to block us from telling the story. They’re trying to put us on defense.”

Slobbered Hastert as blamed the great liberal conspiracy that has served as rocket fuel for the rise of authoritarian right-wing fascism. His multiple chins quivered like ripples of pink gelatin fraught with indignity as he spat out his invective and vitriolic words like carefully aimed daggers.

To borrow ultra-right wing lunatic David Horowitz’ revisionist reworking of the Clausewitz quote that “war is nothing but a continuation of politics by other means”, to apply to raw partisanship I must agree that today politics IS war. It is also deliciously ironic that the “story to tell” otherwise known as 9/11 and the accompanying fear mongering and slander that goes along with it that Hastert and his ilk are being undone by that one thing that it is even more precious to Americans than their cringing need for protection – their insatiable obsession with sex. It is the ultimate in schadenfreude that the party that not long ago shut the country down over a blowjob is now seeing their best laid plans disintegrate in a sea of prurient smut.

According to a recent Reuters story the Bush administration’s political machinations have been stalled albeit temporarily by the same lurid sexual tabloidism that they have successfully traficked in for so long.And of course our national strong daddy figure himself George W. Bush came out to say that he is standing by Hastert along with all of the usual suspects who are now closing ranks and expressing satisfaction with an insincere apology. It is worth remembering that the same crowd once wanted to all but march Bill Clinton to the guillotine for a consensual affair with a member of the opposite sex who was of legal age at the time.

Of course this should surprise nobody at all who has any ablilty to engage in critical thinking; it would only be shocking if he would jettison a reprobate or an incompetent of significant power and any such action would be the first for a man adrift in a sea of immorality with a busted compass and a stuck rudder. Bush has an affinity for dishonorable men for he himself is among the most dishonorable of them all and like a crime boss bestowing a kiss on the cheek of one of f an underling so has he rallied to the defense of John Dennis Hastert.

John Dennis Hastert’s rote statements of pandering to ‘the base’ (Al Qaeda also means ‘the base’)under a vaguely defined umbrella of Rorschachian ‘values’ that are primarily manifested in partisan loyalty. Buzz words and scapegoats have now become so expansive so as to include not only defenses of the standard rank fixers, charlatans, thieves, shake down artists, false prophets, babbling asses, Bush sycophants and outright sleaze mongers but are now also is inclusive to degenerate sexual predators whose lusting after young males is so pathological that according to sources including ABC Foley once had to leave during a floor vote to go and run a batch over an impromptu session of cyber sex.

But Republicans as they have been so good at reminding us are the ‘values’ people and those who stand on that wall to defend society from the pitchfork bearing hordes of liberals run amok who hate us for our way of life. According to Vote Smart Hastert received a 100 percent rating from the Family Research Council in 2005 for his stance on family and childrens issues. FRC must have known something because they only saw fit to bestow upon Foley, and I kid you not with this number that is slang for inverted simultaneous oral sex a rating of 69!

The involvement of the House Ethics Committee is nothing more than window dressing, the committee is neutered and will be more interested in presenting the façade of a legitimate investigation when in essence it is only damage control and trying to run out the clock for desperate Republicans. Any findings by the committee should be treated with as much credibility as an internal audit undertaken by employees of the Corleone family into allegations of potential criminal activity within the Genco Olive Oil Company. Oh and then there is the FBI investigation, which I am sure will be performed with all the due diligence that longtime Bush toady Alberto Gonzalez can muster will leave no stone unturned in this latest egregious example of the corrupting influence of unfettered power.

John Wayne Gacy was such a malevolent monster, so irredeemably evil and unremorseful for his many sins that his last words before he was executed were reportedly “You can kiss my ass”. After his body was pumped full of a sufficient quantity of toxic chemicals to ensure that he had departed from this mortal coil his brain was removed to be studied by forensic pathologists for abnormalities that may have caused his inhuman tendencies and propensity for cruelty. Regarding his victims he sneeringly remarked that:

“They were just a bunch of worthless little queers and punks”.

I would not be one bit surprised to hear the same words about Democrats and critics spew forth from the pie holes of Bush, Rove, Hastert, Gingrich, O’Reilly, Coulter, Cheney, Frist, Dobson or any one of hundreds of other members of the American Fascist Party, so intense is their disdain and contempt for the very concept of a constitutional republic and the democracy that Americans until only a scant half decade ago took for granted as their birthright.

Perhaps when John Dennis Hastert and all of his vile Republican cohorts die the same thing should be done with their brains so that we may one day understand what drives these monsters so as to be best able to prevent it for the sake of future generations.

Republicans Vs. Jesus

“He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone..”

Jesus Christ

Quite possibly the only thing on the planet that is more gut-wrenchingly nauseating than seeing an endless parade of Republican chickenhawks painting their fucking fingers purple, wrapping themselves in the flag and braying their approval for sending poor bastards off to die ostensibly in the service of their country in a foreign land (while most of those gutless scum ever even bothered to wear the uniform themselves) it is their sheer blasphemy and callous disregard for exploiting Jesus Christ himself to mount their jihadist terrorist assault on the United States of America. The idiots in Congress are only the standard bearers for those who are the far more nefarious puppeteers behind the movement to replace democracy with theocracy.

The Republican party and the religous zealots who effectively control it have hijacked the Christian religion and have transformed Jesus Christ into a ‘new and improved’ product that can be sold to the flocks of consumers who regularly pack their goat barns or as they are more commonly known, their mega-churches. This label comes from the biblical parable puts it that Jesus will divide his sheep from the goats amongst them, he also dispenses some very good wisdom about prayer:

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say to you that they have their reward.”

“But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly”


That’s Matthew: 6, Verses 5 and 6 by the way, look it up. I am not exactly a biblical scholar or theologian but it seems to me that Christ is alluding to the fact that it is not exactly necessary to run down and join your neighborhood mega-church in order to curry favor with God, you can actually save a bit of coin on the gas and retreat to your own cramped closet at home to offer up prayers. I know that the militant fundamentalist ‘Christians’ have this connotation that closets somehow are equated with homosexuality which according to their radical clerics must be eradicated but it just seems to me that Jesus is actually calling out those who gather in temples of worship to be seen is a form of hypocrisy. It’s a shame that the true teachings of Jesus Christ the prophet, liberal and he who preached compassion towards the downtrodden is so often eschewed in favor of the vengeful, materialistic, warmongering character that the fanatics of the Religious Right have transformed him into for their own benefit. I mean when was the last time that James Dobson, Timothy LaHaye, Jerry Falwell or for that matter George W. Bush took the time to wash the feet of a poor man?

GOP Jesus, the gay-hating, free-market preaching, Social Darwinist avenger who now pilots a fighter jet because his more traditional donkey was unable to carry enough incendiary devices or precision guided bombs to drop on brown skinned children rules the mega-churches. He is a staunchly pro-American warrior and those who proudly display their little yellow ‘support the troops’ ribbon magnets on their gas guzzlers as a tribute to GOP Jesus are legion, hell I even saw a sticker the other day with an angry looking Christ with blazing eyes and a broadsword, what in the fuck ever happened to “blessed are the peacemakers”? Probably the same thing that happened to the blessed meek who were to inherit the Earth, the dogma of GOP Jesus is summed up by the harlot of hate Ann Coulter who once said: “Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours”.

GOP Jesus also disdains the causes and care of the poor and downtrodden who were the biggest concern for Jesus Christ for the praise of the wealthy who delight in the accumulation of earthly treasures which are all the better to show how successful and blessed by God that they are to their fellow ‘goat barn’ members. Earthly possessions are not a burden to holiness as Christ seemed to indicate when he said in the book of Matthew (3:19-3:21):

Lay not up yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

The religious right instead has a far more Calvinist style view in that God bestows favoritism through materialism, this meshes very nicely with capitalism and it’s no wonder why the GOP’s holy warriors who serve as the palace guards for the elite who remain cloistered in their gated communities and Wall Street ivory towers have such a cozy, symbiotic relationship.

The coming holy war leading up to the November elections will be viciously fought and no quarter will be given, not with the providence of the Bush kingom of God on the line, Israel on the attack and the Middle East aflame, the rapture clock is nearing the long awaited moment. No, there is too much at stake now to not use the goat barns as garrisons for the soldiers of the army of GOP Jesus.

I can practically hear the shrillness of cornered animal Karl Rove desperately barking orders:

“Mobilize the Base! I want the abortion clinics and gay bars stormed, I want to see rubber fetuses on pitchforks, what the fuck is wrong with you people…don’t you understand what is at stake here?”

When it is all coming apart there is nothing like whipping up the masses of ignorant activist thugs with plenty of free time on their hands. These are the ones who comprise the standing army of the party base of the legions of hate. Millions of venom spewing, poisonous, regressive little toads who have been duped by megalomaniac televangelists and sleazy political operatives into supporting a party that conscripts them into a war against a phantom enemy and forces them to sell their souls as well as the very future of their children in order to wage total jihad for a cause that is the very antithesis of what Jesus Christ actually stood for.

The moral rot and corruption of the Republican party is anything but a just cause and it’s message much like Hitler’s proclamation of ‘Got Mit Uns’ distorts religion in order to pander to the basest of the evils and fears of humanity so as to allow them to justify anything in the name of what they have been fraudulently sold as the will of God.

The rise of the radical religious right in America and it’s takeover of the Republican party has a been the equivalent of watching a trainwreck in slow motion, unable to avert your eyes from the horrible scene.
The majority of our population of sheeple go about their daily lives while completely oblivious to the growing danger of the increasingly malignant cancer of radicalized fundamentalist religion that continues to metastasize through the body of secular, democratic society. The media being the craven corporate monolith that it is remains firmly in the corner of the administration, the neocons and the theocratic jihadists, fearful of any legislation favorable of monopoly being stalled or of any further deregulatory standards that would impede their profits being derailed. The media is also terrified of the sort of mass, well organized boycotts against their sponsors that would result in a loss of profits so they won’t touch the menace posed ty the theocrats with a two hundred foot long pole. The bastardized nature of their illicit union with the sad remnants of what was once the party of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt is as shameful as it is unholy.

And how preposterous it is for one of the world’s major religions to proclaim a mandate of superiority at the expense of others, to preach to the ignorant the gospel of providence. Does it not occur to the pathetic wretches that no one, person or religion has exclusive rights to God? The evangelical Christian movement in America uses good old fashioned jingoism and nationalism to reinforce their message of theocracy and exclusion, of hate and illusion. Christ warned about the danger of following false prophets who would be as goats among sheep as well as the ultimate fate of trees that bear bitter fruit but this does not hinder a movement indoctrinated to a particular militant translation of the gospel and scriptures

Then again, this movement is not about God, it is not about morality, it is not about Christ, it is about raw institutional power, to ever believe anything else is foolishness. A good look at the Texas Republican Party platform is a glimpse at the Mein Kampf of our modern times. It is a playbook that Karl Rove will be using almost exclusively in the coming days as he launches a scorched earth campaign to distract and deceive and chart a course out of the wilderness for the unholy administration of emperor Bush and his besieged minions. Make no mistake, these people are the enemy within and are determined to overthrow the legitimate government, re-write the constitution through legislative terrorism and judicial fanaticism and enforce their cruel extremism on all who are not members of the cult.

Rove is now massing his army for an all out assault and the hell with whatever the damage ultimately may be, then again when in the hell have the America haters on the extremist right ever cared?

Were Christ to return to earth tomorrow he would be decried as a treasonous liberal by the GOP state controlled media, would be denounced as a long haired, anti-American peacenik who supports the terrorists, hates freedom, is a commie and is unpatriotic. Then after the electronic crucifixion would be arrested as an enemy combataant and would be just another Middle-Eastern man in an orange jumpsuit locked up in a tiny cell in Gitmo.

You see, GOP Jesus and today’s Pharisees and moneychangers have successfully chased Jesus of Nazareth’s ass out of the temple and he sure as hell ain’t ever coming back as long as they have anything to say about it.

“We will fuck him. Do you hear me? We will fuck him. We will ruin him. Like no one has ever fucked him!”

-Karl Rove