Save The Last Elephant Ear For Me

Peckerwood Nation’s Last Stand

Salvaging something after the general election debacle the fascist Republican armies threw everything that they had left into defending the Georgia Senate seat of one Saxby Chambliss, a man so despicable that he became a party legend for running campaign commercials comparing his opponent, a Vietnam war triple-amputee to Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein. While Max Cleland lost both legs and an arm at Khe Sahn, good ole back-slapping Saxby Chambliss was taking five deferments to keep his chickenshit ass out of the action and to begin his career as a credentialed armchair patriot and water carrier for big bidness and the dead enders of the Religious Right. Chambliss decisively won Tuesday’s runoff election against feisty challenge of one Jim Martin making that coveted 60 seat Senate majority (hype as it may be) wet dream now statistically impossible – sort of like the Detroit Lions or Cincinnati Bengals making the NFL playoffs but more on that malodorous crock of malarkey in a little bit.

To hear the talking points of the right-wing extremists and their highly paid propaganda pimps like millionaire thrice divorced drug addict Rush Limbaugh tell it he was the last man to halt the agenda of the “far left” which would supposedly allow the flipping of the country into one of those damned hated European socialist countries, the ones with free education, health care, public transportation systems that are the envy of the world and god forbid, an educated populace. So the GOP threw everything that they had into defending the Chambliss seat, kind of like Stalin marching thousands directly into the meatgrinder of Stalingrad, a sort of cornered animal type of desperation drove the rally of the knuckle-dragging, Confederate flag waving aggrieved lumpen Republicans who were already chafing from having that burr of a ‘darkie’ president rammed up their asses. The Jesus juicers were out in force and there was no fucking way in heaven or hell that they were going to run up the white flag of surrender on this one. They would let John McCain go down in flames but the cracker Saxby was one of theirs, and Sarah Palin (who Saxby praised to high heaven), new darling of the REAL Republicans as well as the hoochie mama who has induced as a record amount of monkey-spanking and meat-yanking mania amongst the angry white dittoheads that has left that haggard, horse-faced, crack whore Ann Coulter in the dust (you have to admit, at least Palin has a set of tits to come on) . Now I personally don’t think that Jesus would approve of such ‘mass-treebatin’, but shitfire Jim Bob, if he dared to show up at either a Klan picnic or a Palin rally (what’s the difference when you really get down to it?) he’d find his meddlesome, long-haired librul ass crucified on a piece of plywood by a nail gun faster than you can say Oh God Sarah baby by the ignoble savages that are our southern brethren and you gotta admit, at least Palin HAS a set of tits to come on.

The rise of Palin as the Führess of the most vicious and bigoted portion of the population, the ones who have been descending on gun shows across the nation since November 5th like so many Black Friday Wal-Mart shoppers is a terrifying thing to behold, especially on the brink of an economic crisis with hyperinflation of the sort unseen in the western world since it took a wheelbarrow full of reichmarks to buy a loaf of bread and the need for scapegoats for the coming suffering. Try as I must to talk myself out of such a wild assed conspiracy theory but the parallels between what is going on in Der Heimat and the rise of Nazi Germany have just too many eerie parallels to be a coincidence, and there is that long history of Nazi-U.S. Corporate and financial collaboration (Prescott Bush was the poster boy) but that is a story for another time. The Republicans are going to go more ideological, become more fanatical and regenerate like the hydra that they are and it’s all going to gestate in the belly of the beast south of the Mason-Dixon line, these people have had their noses bloodied before and in a bit of grudging admiration they don’t forget things like William Tecumseh Sherman’s cutting a bloody swath through Georgia during the Civil War using what could objectively been called terrorist tactics and they are still fighting that goddamned war five or six generations later. The aggrieved psychotics who actually run the party, guys like Georgia based Newt Gingrich are going to be rubbing the sores of discontent raw in the south and given the victory lap and synchronized jacking each other off over the election results by Democrats, progressives and liberals who are now ready to go back to sleep this is a recipe for doom.

But I digress…

The victory of cracker Chambliss in Peckerwood Nation really means nothing in the real scheme of things outside of the extreme right finally getting a tourniquet onto the wound to stop the bleeding and to provide an opportunity to regain momentum for the battle royal against the dark skinned demon Obama and the librul hordes. Not that a 60 seat majority would guarantee jack shit given the history of the jellyfish centrists in the Democratic party, Casper Milquetoast Harry Reid a coward of Neville Chamberlain proportions still runs the place, the receiving line stretched around the rotunda to kiss the ass of Judas Lieberman and the one person who could have provided a backbone and some much needed bellicosity to the ranks, Hillary Rodham-Clinton who should have been installed as majority has slithered like a snake into the Obama cabinet. A win in Minnesota by the unfunny comedian and former Air American personality Al Franken is largely irrelevant and besides, aren’t there already a disproportionate amount of Jews who hold positions of influence within the system? And with the son of a fanatic Zionist terrorist in Rahm Emanuel already acting as the gatekeeper in the Obama White House I just have a very sick feeling that our disgustingly one-sided Middle Eastern policy that contributes to an overwhelming amount of violence is not going to change anytime soon.

These are dark clouds on the horizon, large portions of the liberal base are already chafing at the bit over Obama’s establishment ‘centrist’ appointments and unless there is some serious action to deliver on that promise of change the turnout is going to suffer, support is going to wane and it could be 1994 all over again come November 2010. Our brand spanking new President Elect Obama may have had a crackerjack ground game, a veritable Wehrmacht of local operations and an organized army of online activists that contributed greatly to his near landslide win but in typical establishment fashion the antiwar, pro-Constitution base is already having their backs pissed on and being told that it’s raining. The trickle could become a downpour of biblical proportions that will surely be seized upon by the minions of Limbaugh, LaHaye, Hagee, Robertson, Gingrich and their Alaskan Valkyrie queen. If nothing else, the more overtly fascist elements of the Republican party are experts at destabilizing governments and any perceived betrayal of the left along with the coming depression is going to create opportunity for a resurgence. The most foolish mistake of all would be for jubilant liberals, progressives and their feckless centrist Democratic party champions to ignore what the always profound Chris Hedges refers to as “American fascists” and he isn’t throwing that term around loosely, these people are a huge threat to the republic and as a recent Hedges column over at truthdig describes it we are still in very serious jeopardy of losing it all:

The old assumptions and paradigms about capitalism and free markets are dead. A new, virulent populism, still inchoate, is slowly and painfully rising to take their place. This populism will determine the future of the country. It is as likely to be right-wing as left-wing.

I watched these competing populisms flicker Thursday night at the Mayflower Hotel in Washington, D.C., when I moderated a debate between independent presidential candidate Ralph Nader and Constitution Party candidate Chuck Baldwin. The two candidates come from opposite ends of the political spectrum. Nader, in essence, is a democratic socialist in the mold of Eugene Debs or Norman Thomas. Baldwin, a founder and minister at the Crossroad Baptist Church in Pensacola, Fla., is an evangelical, right-wing populist.

Baldwin, like Nader, rails against corporatism and our involvement in foreign wars, wants to repeal NAFTA and denounces the curtailment of civil liberties. But Baldwin goes on to support the abolishment of whole departments of the federal government, such as the Department of Education. He calls for U.S. withdrawal from the United Nations and NATO, the elimination of the Food and Drug Administration, the outlawing of abortion and removing all restrictions on the purchasing of firearms. One of his catchier campaign slogans is: “To help keep your family safe and your country free, go buy a gun.” He wants to seal our borders, deny amnesty and social services to illegal immigrants and end birthright citizenship for the children of illegal immigrants. He calls for dismantling the Federal Reserve and the Internal Revenue Service, overturning the 16th Amendment and the personal income tax, and returning the American monetary system to hard assets: gold and silver.

These candidates, while marginal figures in the current election, express the two forms of populism that will soon find a wide political currency. The anger toward our elites will morph into rage. These new populisms may not be articulated by Nader and Baldwin, but they will be articulated by people like Nader and Baldwin.

The ideological foundations of free-market economics and a consumer society have collapsed. This collapse is hard for us to fathom. We are still in shock and denial. We cling to old structures of meaning and outdated words to describe them. We have yet to realize that all our political science and economic textbooks have become junk. We have yet to formulate a vocabulary to describe our altered reality. We grasp, on a subliminal level, that laissez-faire capitalism is gone, but we have not viewed the corpse, scheduled the funeral and read the last rites.

And…

The left, with a few exceptions, like the Progressive Party in Vermont, has largely thrown in its lot with the Democratic Party. Right-wing populists, as is evidenced by the acrimonious split in the McCain campaign, remain clustered around the fiefdoms of large megachurches that stoke hatred and frightening totalitarian visions of a Christian state. The left has no correlating centers of activism, organization or mass support, especially with the decline of labor unions. If left-wing populists do not rapidly build local organizations, as was done in Vermont, to compete with the right-wing populism of the Christian right, the most dangerous mass movement in American history, they will be easily swept aside. There is not much time left. A Democratic victory in November may signal not a reversal of our fading fortunes but the start of a precipitous slide toward the Christian dystopia peddled by people like Baldwin.

Progressives are playing a dangerous game of mass self-congratulation right now and in that comes an inversion of one of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross’s five stages of grief – DENIAL – and in failing to recognize that the extreme right is not going away, not now, not ever without a very serious (and in measured terms I say dealt with using ‘extreme prejudice) effort to cut out the cancer that is the Republican base, now in apparent remission but in actuality mestasizing to rage anew then we may one day look back on the Bush administration as tempered moderates.

This is the reality of the situation: deep south bible belt whites, mainly poor, increasingly hostile and always Republican have contributed mightily to our current economic and global crisis through their long run of owning a disproportionate amount of political power in America and if they regain it they will be ever more determined to wield it and the next time they will be playing for keeps. They will use it in order to drag the country backwards through time to a dark place in our history that had apparently been buried in the past. They seek to return to the days where the American south was mired in the smothering blackness of a festering, hateful and corrupt parallel universe to the more progressive states above the Mason Dixon Line, trapped like a dinosaur in a tar pit. It was only through the courage of the civil rights movement and federal anti discrimination laws that the roaring beast was able to be semi-tamed to a point where it would be able to interact with decent folk. With the ascendancy of a red state evangelical movement the south is back for blood revenge, thundering a bastardized version of Christianity from pulpits, preaching hatred and bigotry and the end times and drawing the masses of the disenfranchised into ever growing mega churches and mobilizing armies of activists. The southern regressive fervor cunningly infiltrated the United States government itself with their ultimate triumph being the rise of George W. Bush who will now serve as a teaching tool of what NOT to do the next time, say when Sarah Palin is deemed to be ready. This southern fried anti-Americanism will, if not watched very closely once again creep back into power like some malignant strain of alien kudzu.

America is far from out of the swamp of backwoods religion and politics and very soon could be forced to bend over that log, take it up the ass with a double-barreled shotgun pressed to our necks and forced to squeal like a pig like poor old Ned Beatty in that fine cinematic depiction of that paradise of the old south Georgia: Deliverance.

The Killa From Wasilla

The Cradle of American Democracy?

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.

-H. L. Mencken


The flag-swaddled, star-bellied Sneetches were in full-throated roar as Fraulein Fetus strode atop the stage in the Excel Center. She dragged out all of the oldies, the attacks on the damned liberal media (which the retrograde morons on the far right still believe exists), the elite (of course same elite does not the moneychangers of the financial cartels, big oil and the trust fund babies that the Republican party serves) and the great librul conspiracy. Ladies and gentlemen – they have successfully cloned a more appealing version Phyllis Schlafly and she’s about to grab one of her many shootin’ irons and go clean out them varmints.

You have to give it to the Democrats, in 2008 when the entire bogus conservative legacy has been exposed and discredited as the treacherous anti-American fascist looting society that it has always been, a movement fueled by hatred, resentment and just pure stupidity their willy-nilly fecklessness, piss poor strategy, failure to impeach and hold accountable the war criminals has committed the ultimate fuck up: they have allowed this coming election to once again be about ABORTION! This is unconscionable, and if the revival of the only recently demoralized and moribund supplicants of the Fetus Wars leads to the GOP mobilizing their Karl Rove megachurch money-laundering temples of avarice as bund halls from which they will emerge en masse like swarming armies of fire ants to goose step to the polls on Tuesday November 2nd then the only change will be that the most extreme elements of the fascist right will once again be firmly in control of the Republican party. With a great big assist to Nancy Fucking Pelosi and that dickless little pussy Casper Milquetoast Reid.

When you have a vicious and rabid animal cornered there is a conventional wisdom that such animal is at its most dangerous and that it likely to come out of the corner like a ball of hell and go right at the throat. Conventional wisdom also dictates that such animal needs to be put down before it does come out of its corner smelling blood, knowing it has nothing to lose and dives for the jugular. Sadly, the Democrats have given new meaning to ‘politics for dummies’ and in their zeal to crush the antiwar movement base with their heinous bait and switch of only changing the venue of the wars to Afghanistan (a country mind you that chewed up both the Brits during the heady days of empire as well as the dreaded Soviet machine), by triangulating and caving into Lord Bush’s domestic spying in granting telecom immunity and actually further enhancing illegal surveillance and by launching that great preemptive strike of taking impeachment off of the table before the 2006 mid-term elections. There is more and I could go on at length but why bother, you know the score.

It was only last week that Barack Obama’s triumphal speech on a beautiful Denver night in Invesco Field at Mile High that history was about to change, not that I am a believer in the wonder working power of the new Jesus – who ironically rode a donkey and despite the best efforts of the ultra-fascist right that has manifested itself in the vile form of a neo-Nazi Republican party did not fly an F-14 – it was still a hell of a good speech, rousing indeed. In any sane society the soaring rhetoric of that speech along with the magnificently choreographed finale to the Democratic National Convention should have sealed the deal and punched the jackass party’s ticket back to the White House. Here on the world’s biggest lemming farm in the land once known as America which was transformed by 9/11 and the rise of the police state into The Homeland we most certainly do NOT live in a sane society – in fact we put more distance between ourselves and any thing even resembling a modicum of reason and rationality with each passing day. The Democratic party lust evaporated faster than the passion of two Alaskan teeny boppers doing the nasty when a hockey mom just happens to get home early and catch them in the act. As the great prophet Winston Wolf once so eloquently put it: “Well, let’s not start sucking each other’s dicks quite yet.”

The triumphal high of Thursday was rudely dampened by that big dung encrusted pachyderm pissing on the embers of what had been a hell of a Bullshit-a-palooza fest by unpredictably announcing the current Governor of Alaska (arguably the third most corrupt state in the nation) Sarah Palin as the running mate of the straightest shooting bullshit artist that the media has EVER sold to the masses of asses. The perfect shot of gravy for the brain to the television addicted twits who still blissfully go about their business in their insular little dream worlds while the rest of the country crumbles around them. In all fairness to the war criminal (who nearly blew up the USS Forrestal because of his maverick style fucking around – but that is a story for another time) he actually wanted that calculating little Zionist rat Joe Lieberman, the Senator from Tel Aviv but was overruled by Rove and that filthy cabal of scheming traitors – The Council for National Policy (CNP) and the menace of the fanatical crusaders of the Religious Right was elated and ready for action, it was like Terri Schiavo never happened and Pastor Ted wasn’t outed as a crank head with a taste for having the occasional cock rammed up his asshole. The weaponized version of Jesus Christ was on the rebound and the latest flaming bag of dogshit just went up in flames on the DNC doorstep, a place where it had been parked by the same old pranksters who much to their glee have found a perpetually gullible mark for their amusement.

Since Wendy Kroy wasn’t available and Katherine Harris had long ago been relegated to one of the padded cells where the real fringe whackos are packed off too once they become an embarrassment the Republicans found the perfect replacement in ‘Sarah Barracuda’, a former beauty queen whose life story (airbrushed to cover all of the dirty little details that indicate a far darker and manipulative personality) was destined to be the smash hit of the new fall roster of television drama queens and a smash hit with the meat beating monsters of the dittohead angry army of maladjusted and pathetically fucked-up white males whose obedience to their pied piper of white populist propaganda approaches a dog-like loyalty. The Dominionists and the Christian fascists see in Palin a Trojan horse of sorts who can be counted on to keep the faith-based initiative graft floodgates open while at the same time using code words like “reform” to further undermine any and all social progress of the last century. This is a very dangerous woman and a very dangerous time to be playing games like this. The woman is already on record as saying that the Iraq war is a “task that is from God” – and statements like that are either of the worst sort of cynicism or more horrifyingly play into the entire Timothy LaHaye/John Hagee version of turning Iraq into nothing more than an appetizer for the main course of a conflagration set off by an attack on Iran: Armageddon baby, Armageddon!

But what is the most remarkable thing of all about Sarah Barracuda is that she plays into that great little storyline that has been slowly and lovingly been simmering like the cooking of a fine moose testicle stew and fed by a credulous and complicit media of the alienated Hillary Rodham-Clinton voter – the PUMA and their great uprising. Now that Palin stands against every women’s privacy and rights issue that Mrs. Clinton was a champion of doesn’t draw even the slightest bit of suspicion among the fat and happy public relations flacks and millionaire celebrity ‘journalists’, all that Palin represents is a magnet who will draw them to the Republican party come November to vote against their self-interests, chuck a lifetime of activism into the crapper and cast their votes for the man who has sworn a blood oath on a stack of bibles to pack the Supreme Court with clones of Antonin Scalia who will once and for all repeal the Roe v. Wade and deliver the Holy Grail to the most influential political movement since Adolf Hitler was able to dupe enough haters and goons to parlay his minor beer hall celebrity status as a demagogue into a murder machine unrivaled in the industrial age. When all of history is written on this sordid but rapid decline of the American empire it will show that nothing and I emphasize NOTHING has provided more fuel to the iron-fisted rule of Republican fascism than the anti-abortion movement that grew out of opposition to Roe v. Wade. Of course the Powell Memorandum that set up the entire faux liberal media conspiracy lie as well as provided the impetus for the founding of the think tanks was instrumental as well but the real glue that has held the extreme right-wingers together is the organized assault on Roe v. Wade.

But I digress….

That the very absurdity of the thought that hard-core feminists who supported Hillary Rodham-Clinton’s doomed bid for the presidency would chamber the round that would deliver the kill shot to women’s reproductive rights is never addressed is a mockery. In fact the very concept is as absurd as the former mayor of Wasilla Alaska would be a heartbeat away from gaining possession of the nuclear launch codes with the oldest man to ever mount a serious run for occupancy of the Oval Office even money to kick the bucket on any given day.

To me this stinks to high heaven, like an NBA playoff game manipulated to keep it close and bring in the advertising dough by ensuring that all series run the maximum seven games. This is the same sort of point shaving, along with a gaggle of pocket pundits and propagandists trumpeting misleading (and I am being charitable) poll numbers that is expressly designed to manage perception that this should be a close election. It is right out of the Rove/CIA subversion of democracy playbook and a very damning advance bit of circumstantial evidence that those voting machines are going to be once again utilized to steal a national election just as they were in 2000 and 2004. Just keep the game close enough so that one call or two (or precinct) can alter the results. Again, we have another one of those failures of the so-called ‘opposition’ party who never held serious hearings into the mass election fraud that gave us the Bushreich, but failure is something that these disgusting quisling Democrats have made into an art form – their appeasement and rank cowardice makes the Vichy French look like the conquering armies of Alexander the fucking Great!

So while the myriad of controversies that are now springing up as Sarah Barracuda is being vetted by non-affiliates of the CNP/RNC like ‘is it really HER baby?’, hers and her Northern Exposure style hubby Todd’s past associations with a secessionist movement (not that I think any state seceding from this fascist shithole is a bad idea), her abuse of power to use the office of Alaska state Governor to exact petty vendettas against her former state trooper brother in law and her sitting in the pews of a church while the message of anti-Jewish terror was “God’s judgment of unbelief” was delivered. Is it just me or is there a double standard because wasn’t Mr. Obama vilified for the sermons of Reverend Jeremiah Wright? Then there is her seventeen year old daughter is pregnant and unless the NRA darling is able to scramble up a shotgun wedding will be just another bastard child, another bit of the same old hypocrisy from the values volk.

But she is a hottie isn’t she? I keep seeing the acronym MILF (Mothers I’d Like to Fuck) popping up on message boards when Sarah Barracuda’s attributes are brought up. Sad, we live in a country where the important is trivialized, truth is ostracized, corruption rules, fear is everywhere and pure primal sexual instincts drive the thought of millions. It is as though we are devolving back into the cave dwelling beasts that once settled their political disputes by smashing each other’s skulls in with mastodon bones. It’s a sorry spectacle that makes one of conscience who possesses even a shred of dignity to be deeply ashamed of this country so decadent and dumbed down have we as a society become.

MILF? WTF?

Just shake those titties for Jesus baby!