George Felix Allen: A Cornered Varmint

First he’s denouncing dark skinned volunteers of his opponent by using foreign slang terms that mean the same thing as what is potentially the most inflammatory slur in the English language that is the dreaded ‘N Word’ and then he claimed that he didn’t know what it meant. A few weeks later he threw a hissy fit when it came out that there was a bit of Jewish heritage on his mother’s side of the family but when his surprise and anger over being outed became a story unto itself he claimed that she never actually had told him his grandparents were Jews and by golly she made him yummy ham sandwiches and pork chops too.

It was such a display of bungling, phony ineptitude that he might as well as had the yiddish word for chump: SCHLEMIEL flashing in neon lights on his forehead. George Felix Allen has in the last two months proven nothing outside the ugly truth that he is a fraud, a bigot, an opportunistic stooge and to use one of the great critic H.L. Mencken’s favorite terms,a “mountebank” who is far more adept at fantastic feats of flip-flopping than a seasoned frycook at a busy Richmond francise location of that favorite peckerwood fine dining establishment known as The Waffle House.

And now in another story that that not only is the most inflammatory of all about the exploits of the dude rancher George Felix Allen mainly because it seems to tie all of those otherwise disparate quirks of his fondness over the nooses in his office (ironically an autoerotic asphyxiation fetish would probably now seem like a preferable explanation to a cornered racist) to an attraction to the Confederate flag despite not being from the south to his recently revealed youthful proclivity for tossing around the pejorative n*gger whenever he wasn’t stuffing bloody, severed deer heads into the mailboxes of black folks up in a nice big box adorned with a confederate flag colored ribbon. I can’t wait to see George Felix Allen’s inept campaign manager Dick Wadhams try to spin this latest story away

The latest and so far the greatest story about his phony comes courtesy of the website Salon and offers up these wonderfully tantalizing tidbits of pure red meat on the besieged dude ranch desperado:

“Allen said he came to Virginia because he wanted to play football in a place where ‘blacks knew their place,'” said Dr. Ken Shelton, a white radiologist in North Carolina who played tight end for the University of Virginia football team when Allen was quarterback. “He used the N-word on a regular basis back then.”

A second white teammate, who spoke on the condition of anonymity because he feared retribution from the Allen campaign, separately claimed that Allen used the word “nigger” to describe blacks. “It was so common with George when he was among his white friends. This is the terminology he used,” the teammate said.

A third white teammate contacted separately, who also spoke on condition of anonymity out of fear of being attacked by the Virginia senator, said he too remembers Allen using the word “nigger,” though he said he could not recall a specific conversation in which Allen used the term. “My impression of him was that he was a racist,” the third teammate said.

Shelton also told Salon that the future senator gave him the nickname “Wizard,” because he shared a last name with Robert Shelton, who served in the 1960s as the imperial wizard of the United Klans of America, a group affiliated with the Ku Klux Klan.
 That thing about nicknaming his buddy ‘Wizard’ just fucking kills me as it is just so indicative of the mentality of these red state yahoos who take pride in their regressive ignorance. You know that things are getting grim when even celebrity obsessed Newsweek is starting to run stories on the the dude rancher whose bid to be the heir apparent for George W. Bush/Ronald Reagan/John Wayne style of American cowboy iconography is cowering in the sagebrush hoping to avoid the posse .

George W. Bush and the Republican party leadership needs to take a serious and principled stand and denounce George Felix Allen’s recent conduct in a similar manner as to they did to Good Ole Boy Trent Lott when Bush himself strongly condemned the former Senate Majority Leaders’s slobbering testimonials to the infamous bigot Strom Thurmond back in 2002. The big difference is then they had the ultimate American fraud, the penultimate lackey and the completely unprincipled charlatan Bill Frist waiting in the wings with marching orders to ram through Congress every legislative priority of the Bush-Cheney-Rove Axis of Evil balanced on the backs of the regressive, rubber fetus waving toads of the religious right who were spoiling for a fight and led by Frist and Tom DeLay turned the Florida hospice wherein lay the wasting body of Terri Schiavo into their own version of the Alamo.

But I digress…

In the lead up to the November elecions it is very apparent that the Bush administration and specifically Karl Rove don’t want to do anything to potentially piss off the Jesus juicing, NASCAR watching, angry redneck contingent of the hard core party base in ‘peckerwood nation’ down south of the Mason Dixon line. In fact there are surely millions who actually dig the fact that George Felix Allen is a dyed in the wool, rebel flag flying, epithet spewing, football talkin’, tobacco chewing manly man who loves to schmooze with neo-Confederate, white supremacists who hang out at rebel power hate-fests like the annual American Renaissance bacchanals of bigotry.

These same knuckle dragging freaks gave us George W. Bush in the first place and if not for George Felix Allen’s ugly self-immolation would be die hard and damned proud of it ‘Allen Lumpen Republicans’ in 2008. Now they will have to go find some other theocratic bigot who has at least some degree of crossover appeal to the restive moderates that were always looking for that man in the white hat to ride in to keep the savages at bay.

George Felix Allen will be soundly whupped next month but with his brother Bruce running an incredibly lousy NFL franchise down in Tampa Bay there will always be a job for GFA, even if it is for a ballboy and hey, after all nepotism is HUGE in the GOP.

George Felix Allen may or may not be the type of guy that would light a burning cross on a black family’s lawn but I would sure as hell bet that he would gladly come over to toast a marshmallow or two over the flames if he saw one.

George Felix Allen: Dude Rancher On the Roof

The rapidly snowballing troubles of George Felix Allen of Virginia continue to mount much to the chagrin of those political consultants who not long ago were drooling over their career making turns at transforming him into the second coming of Ronald Reagan as well the delight of those who have seen through the blatantly phony horsehockey of his dude ranch cowboy act from day one.

You can count me in with the latter.

The latest and perhaps most devastating blow to George Felix Allen’s presidential aspirations is not only the revelation that his Grandfather and namesake Felix Lumbroso was Jewish but his total freak out after it was brought up by a reporter causing Allen to blow his stack:

“Yesterday, I found it especially reprehensible that a reporter would impugn the attitudes of my mother, as Ms. Peggy Fox did in her first question at the Fairfax County Chamber of Commerce Senate debate. My mother and father both taught me to abhor bigotry, and Ms. Fox’s suggestion to the contrary was deeply offensive.”

 George Felix Allen soon discovered that after his anger at the exposure of his Jewish heritage drew denouncements for his overreaction that he suddenly found himself flailing away at Tony Snow’s infamous metaphoric ‘tar baby’ by having to simultaneously defend himself against accusations that he was ashamed of rather than proud of acknowledging the Jews in his family closet as well as having to deal with this betrayal of the white supremacy of the most vile elements of the rebel flag waving, racist base that he has so carefully sought to curry favor with. The one thing that has me laughing my ass off is the indignity of Allen’s (inept and likely soon to be looking for work) campaign manager Dick Wadham’s apoplectic comments that:

“Introducing religion at all into the debate was inappropriate.”

Now there is a real knee-slapper, Dick Wadham’s outrage is priceless for the simple reason that the introduction of religion into the debate is exactly how Karl Rove always operates. Using religion has long suited Rove and the ruthless political operatives of the Republican one party fascist government and their allies amongst the hate-filled zealots of the ‘Christian’ right and is a subject that has been staked out for decades and used as a bludgeon on opponents who have been as helpless as baby seals before the trappers’ clubs. The crying criers of the right and their victimization industry are as quick to cry foul and threaten to take their toys home as the neighborhood bully who has finally picked on the wrong kid and gotten smacked in the chops by some nebbish child who resembles a young Alan Colmes.

You can certainly understand George Felix Allen’s desperate outburst; having for so long played up his faux cowboy ally of the confederacy image his political career is going down in catastrophic flames with the ugliness of a gruesome traffic accident that has rubber-neckers gazing in awe at the wreckage as they drive by. This was a man who was riding tall in the saddle as recently as two months ago and was in the process of ring kissing the holier than thou powerbrokers of the Council For National Policy in advance of his potential coronation as the inheritor of the keys to the White House from the current trail boss with the big-assed belt buckle George W. Bush and then was set upon by the dreaded curse of the macacca that was conjured up by his own tongue and ever since it’s been one long march towards the inevitable bloody doom of the confrontation at the OK Corral and no matter how hard that he tries to otherwise convince his base Allen is not on the side with the Earp Brothers and the Doc anymore.

It wasn’t that long ago that George Felix Allen was the steadfast John Wayne type riding in to protect the fort of ‘American values’ that has been under siege from the godless savages of a ruthless, godless, secular liberal enemy that could not be reckoned with that had aligned itself with the criminal ilk of the ‘welfare society’, a man who could be counted on to deliver the desired American apartheid and to wear the shining star of the town marshal who would serve as strong daddy protector to this great land.

I cannot help but enjoy the Schadenfreude that the same country folks who would have been honored to hook up his glorious, red, white and blue float in a victory parade for American Christian values to the chrome hitch of their battered pick-up trucks for a star spangled ride down Main Street turn on him like the treacherous pit vipers that they are. Now that he has been forced to acknowledge that his bloodlines included a Jew many of his former supporters would likely now be very happy to drag George Felix Allen down Main Street behind their Ford F/350’s at the end of a rope.

The perennially perturbed peckerwoods will now abandon George Felix Allen by the boatload, sadly not for his pathological fraudulence but rather for his newly perceived racial and religious impurity. What is even better is that he will now also be shunned by many of the high-rollers of the country club set who play golf and talk business in settings that explicitly frown upon having Jews as members and will from now on picture the man in the white Stetson on the fine horse as just another dude ranch imposter riding into town on a broken down jackass and wearing a threadbare yarmulke.

George Felix Allen’s ‘High Noon’ moment, his showdown, his saddling up on the back of that trusty steed of the legendary archetypical American western macho has been cut short as he will soon find that he will be shot in the back three or four steps short of that standard ten that true gunslingers that live by the Western code of honor take for granted during a duel.

George Felix Allen: Chickenhawk Down

A terrible month for dude ranch cowboy George Felix Allen just got worse after he was smacked around by Democratic opponent (and decorated combat veteran) James Webb on Sunday’s ‘Meet the Press’ debate with Tim Russert. GFA was rode hard and put up wet continuing his ugly fall from grace in the aftermath of being called out and held up for public ridicule over his recent racist comments that referred to a non-Caucasian Webb campaign volunteer as a “macaca” which is a French slur right up there with the more well known South African ‘kaffer’ which both are invoked to trash those of a dark complexion in a similar manner to that most dreaded third rail of American political language that is the ‘N-Word’. One which a man such as George Felix Allen has likely often heard when keeping company with the same sort of folk who dig a tough talkin’ Ronald Reagan impersonator who happens to have a fondness for Confederate flags (despite not actually being from the south) and who once kept a noose in his office.

George Felix Allen showed up in his customary dime store cowboy costume of shit-kickin’ boots but minus the ten-gallon hat and was generally mocked by Webb who has used his status as a real life veteran who truly knows what it’s like to actually have have boots on the ground often. Webb has been great at contrasting real military service to the contrived standard chickenhawk talking points of the same Republican neocons who are all too anxious to send the children of others off to be blown to bloody bits in ill conceived wars while ensuring that their own brood get no closer to the front lines than watching ‘Saving Private Ryan’ on big screened plasma televisions in their gated community McMansions.

Webb has been cleaning George Felix Allen’s clock lately mainly because he is authentic. This is a trait which has sadly become an endangered species in the post 9/11 wasteland of what used to be America where the term ‘hero’ has been tainted and essentially rendered irrelevant due to its constant invocation and overuse by right-wing Republican propagandists seeking to claim that they have a monopoly on patriotism. They have been very good at using ‘heror’ to frame their fraudulence in a manner that is readily accepted by a populace far too accustomed to the fantasy of television, movies and video games which are all that they sadly have come to accept as our nation’s history despite the ratings and agenda driven revisionism that thoroughly permeates the medium.

The Meet The Press debate was excellent in that it allowed Webb to connect with several great shots that effectively defused Allen’s Republican talking points. My personal favorite was this exchange as chronicled in a Washington Post article:

Allen also lashed out at Webb, accusing him of failing to support the first Iraq war. “Heck, the French were even in favor of military action in 1991,” Allen said.

Webb responded aggressively, often returning to his experience as a Marine in Vietnam. Using a line from his son, Webb said, “George Allen didn’t fight in Vietnam. Even the French fought in Vietnam.”


Talk about having your face rubbed in Freedom Toast!

And in the ultimate shot across the bow the Webb campaign used footage of the hallowed ‘Gipper’ himself for a commercial praising the service of the man who was once Secretary of the Navy under Reagan. This naturally sent Allen campaign honcho Dick Wadhams into a frenzy and the GOP dipped into their smear war chest to dredge up a 27 year old article from Webb on women in combat as well as his writings that referred to the Naval Academy as: “a horny woman’s dream” and the dirt-digging will only continue in the run up to November 7th as the one party Republican fascist government pulls out all stops to keep the investigations at bay and the Bush crime family and their loyalists firmly in control. You can count on it that Rove will be sending his covert operatives to Virginia in the next month in order to slime Webb but he as a fighter will hopefully prove to be a wily and formidable opponent to business as usual.

As James Webb himself has so succinctly put it regarding the latest poseur saddling up ala American icon John Wayne for the Republican image makers who continue to go to the well in order to find the next Ronald Reagan who could sell ice to Eskimos as surely as he could sell the rugged western archetype to the rubes and suckers weaned on so much fantasy:

“There are no cowboys in Virginia.”

There only dude ranch desperados and I might add an increasing number of veterans who are running nationally as Democrats who all too well understand the cynicism of Allen and the elitist ideologues who see our brave military as only grist to feed into the mill of whatever war of convenience that they have chosen to use in order facilitate their perpetual hold on political power while they tell the silent majority to go straight to Hell. Back during our last divisive, corrupt quagmire of a war that was Vietnam an Arkansas Senator named J. William Fulbright came up with a term to describe those who blatantly disregard the will of the people. He called it “The Arrogance of Power” and never has it been as pervasive and as cancerous to the institutions of democracy as it is today.

George Felix Allen and every one of the Republican incumbents (as well as a good amount of the entrenched DLC Vichy who seek to appease the fascists to maintain their personal positions) are afflicted by this arrogance and it is well past the time to just back up the truck and start hauling off the garbage. Let November 7th be a day that Americans can always remember with pride as the day that we demanded that the whole pack of rat bastards finally be held accountable and began the much needed housecleaning that is necessary to return honesty and integrity to government.