Working The Big Con in the Land of Corn

Mike Huckabee looks to bag his share of suckers in Iowa

The Christmas season is finally mercifully over and we can all go back to comfortably hating again. Retailers are nearly finished closing out their Chinese made plastic Santas and inflatable snow globes for pennies on the dollar and consumers are further ensnared by debt for baubles that they don’t need, the wretched bush league Illini defense still hasn’t stopped USC from scoring and the professional grifters are stepping up their activities out n the hustings. The deceitful charlatans are stepping up their move through the breeding beds of suckers in the godforsaken frozen wasteland of Iowa, trolling for the rubes that will largely set the agenda for the selection of the successor to the mockery that is George W. Bush – barring martial law of course. It is just all so fucking surreal as we watch the national pocket media kingmakers turn their focus to the land of corn and the pagan orgy of lies and sublime stupidity where those whose ears are keen enough can just barely detect the death knell of the republic on the icy early January winds out on the plains.

I just absolutely fucking hate electoral politics anymore – I’ll leave that bullshit up to the lame hacks and shills over on the so-called “A list” blogs – it is all such a big con game where the elitists and their corporatist media toadies pull off the magic act of selling charlatans to the masses of asses as though they were pimping any other product. The system as it is has been set up to filter out any candidate who may actually try to change things for the better in regards to the people or to blow up the fucking rotting militarist looter capitalist eat the young empire of greed and blood that the United States has mutated into over the past quarter of a century or so. The permanent campaign finally gets it’s first big test with the voters on Thursday with the Iowa Democratic caucuses leading off the next month or so of the big exhaustively hyped by a media entrusted to stick their fingers in the dike in order to keep the false façade of a sham democracy in a land run by transnational corporations, financial goliaths that specialize in chicanery bordering on outright fraud and the military industrial security complex that exports death and grown tyranny on our home soil. It is what author Peter Dale Scott refers to as “the deep state” and the amoral charlatans who are chosen to be our political ‘leaders’ are merely figureheads for the dark and nefarious forces that really have their claws on the levers of power.

That however is a story for another time so I digress…

The usual barkers and pitchmen have been pimping Iowa as though it were the fucking Super Bowl and of course despite a growing restiveness and awareness that we have all been played for fools Americans will eagerly line up at the bullshit buffet in their naïve and nostalgic longing for a country that long ago passed the demarcation point from any sort of sane society into this my team versus your team, praise Jesus and pass the ammunition, beggared third world debt ridden slave colony where your normal airing of American Idol draws more attention than the democratic process. Hell, they quit teaching anything even remotely resembling civics or history in schools around the time that Dutch Reagan was trying to have fucking ketchup classified as a vegetable for school lunches so could any other result possibly be expected by rational minds? I will give the Bushreich credit for on thing though, it has been so despotic, so controlling, so dishonest, so arrogant and so thoroughly rotten to the core that it (along with the internet) have succeeded in giving away the entire big con game and there is a growing undercurrent of resentment right now in America and it’s soon going to come to a slow rolling boil as the treasonous looters on Wall Street demand that corporations cut more jobs to keep the stock market up for just a little longer. 2008 will see inflation spike due to a Federal Reserve that has been allowed to run amok, playing games to keep their failed laissez faire looter’s paradise ideology which is a house of cards – all jokers that would have been mocked by sane economists prior to the ascension of Reagan and his voodoo economics witch doctors and their crackerjack propaganda apparatus built with the Powell Memorandum as a blueprint.

The ugly truth is that this country is now bordering on third world status and 2008 is going to be a very cruel year, foreclosures will continue as millions of people whose only crime was that they bought into the fraudulent ‘American Dream’ are thrown out of their over mortgaged equity challenged homes in droves. The credit crisis is going to metastasize throughout the entire system as the defaults on those evil little pieces of plastic in everybody’s wallets are going to rise and thanks to the fucking Democrats the bankruptcy laws no longer exist, for all we know the swine are ready to sign off on opening a vast gulag of debtor’s prisons and use slave labor to entice corporations to actually start to make things here again. Of course everything as the media tells you is ok, the economy is robust pay no mind to the Chicken Littles screaming that the sky is falling and that we are entering a recession, hell core inflation is low even if you are paying 3.50 a gallon for gas and upwards of 5 bucks for a gallon of milk. The conditions in America today eerily parallel those leading up to the Great Depression and the bill is coming due posthaste for all those years of living stupidly. A lot of people get this but those who have a vested interest in continuing to squeeze the last drop of blood and last cent of profit out of America need to maintain the illusion for just a little while longer.

I didn’t know whether to laugh or fucking cry after reading a story in the most recent edition of Newsweek magazine lamenting politically active Americans that was ironically entitled The Closing Of The American Mind which incidentally is the name of a book by Chicago school neoconservative ideologue Allan Bloom another disciple of Leo Strauss and a mentor of one Paul Wolfowitz. The piece that I refer to was written by Evan Thomas and starts out “Partisan warriors may love our polarized political culture. Everyone else is turned off and tuning out.” Given the mass feeding frenzy over the upcoming political season and the degenerate horse track gamling junkie treatment it is pretty damned humorous that America’s shitrag would roll out this silly little piece of propaganda lamenting the same ultrapartisanship that they didn’t see fit to bump their celebrity/health tips swill for when the laissez faire looting machine that fills their coffers wasn’t being threatened by the conventional wisdom that we as a nation are getting collectively fucked. I don’t exactly recall seeing the establishment hacks and the fishwrap that they used as a forum crying when Tom DeLay’s beltway mafia was running it’s spoils system.

Anyway, the Newsweek piece goes on to proclaim the following precious nuggets:

There are, as they say, two Americas. There is the America of the rich and the America of the poor, as Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards likes to point out. There is the America of Red States and Blue States, populated, as columnist Dave Barry likes to joke, by “ignorant racist fascist knuckle-dragging NASCAR-obsessed cousin-marrying road-kill-eating tobacco-juice-dribbling gun-fondling religious fanatic rednecks” and “godless unpatriotic pierced-nose Volvo-driving France-loving leftwing Communist latte-sucking tofu-chomping holistic-wacko neurotic vegan weenie perverts.”

These divisions seem to grow, and to grow more antagonistic, by the year. But the real divide, the separation that may matter more to the future of American democracy, is between the political junkies and everyone else. The junkies watch endless cable-TV news shows and listen to angry talk radio and feel passionate about their political views. They number roughly 20 percent of the population, according to Princeton professor Markus Prior, who tracks political preferences and the media. Then there’s all the rest: the people who prefer ESPN or old movies or videogames or Facebook or almost anything on the air or online to politics. Once upon a time, these people tended to be political moderates; now they are turned off or tuned out.

That Thomas discredits his own arguments in stating that only 20 percent of the population is politically active and that the rest are just gooving on the tube and other distractions is then followed by the incredibly stupid contradiction that voter turnout is in the low 50 percent range in his attempt to somehow paint the 20 percenters as some sort of fringe extremists. But with a 50 percent turnout of the populace aren’t the 20 percenters more representative of say at least HALF of voters? And if the later number referenced turns out to be true of only a 30 percent turnout then the politically aware and energized are representative of 2/3 of the electorate – outside the cloistered realms of beltway elitists that is. And Newsweek really doesn’t exactly practice what they preach, I seem to recall a recent orgy of self congratulation when the mag announced that they had retained the services of two of the biggest partisan hacks in the fucking country Karl Rove and Markos Moulitsas-Zuniga for commentators during the upcoming 2008 political season….so much for détente .

But back to Iowa where they are selling the one thing that has always been a hot commodity in America – HOPE. As I have already stated I deplore this advance purchase of stolen merchandise being conducted under the façade of legitimacy and pimped ad nauseam by the pocket media kingmakers but I would be a liar if I didn’t admit that I don’t find a bit of sick humor over some of the silly assed story lines coming out of the tall corn state. Queen Clinton is allegedly coming back after being battered back by Barack Obama (who I still strongly suspect is a ringer) along with the help of the great goddess of the weekday afternoon television empire Oprah Winfrey has made a surge to from many accounts pull into a dead heat with Mrs. Rodham-Clinton which in and of itself is impressive. If anyone has pull with the miserable yahoos in Iowa as well as the rest of the feckless weasels, losers and television addicted sheep, her following has a cult like devotion and on any given day if Oprah would tell them to eat a bowl of fresh dogshit at least a third of them would actually do it – and that is a conservative estimate. It offers the establishment a nice hedge against John Edwards too, his reformist, anti-corporate message is the sort that could resonate with people who are forced to choose between heat and meat in the bite ass cold Midwestern winters and once he has been relegated to also ran status along with Manny, Moe and Jack (Biden, Dodd and Richardson) and with Dennis Kucinich already painted as some UFO watching kook who is out in Mel Gibson’s cornfield waiting for the aliens to arrive the fix is likely already in for a Clinton restoration. I also found the references to Obama’s alleged past drug use to be amusing, especially considering all of the blow that flew through Mena, Arkansas while the Clintons were in the governor’s mansion but that is another story for another time. Suffice it to say that the establishment absolutely cannot have a reform minded candidate emerge from the brutal gauntlet of the rigged primary system to even have a legitimate sniff of power in this sordid mess of a country slowly being bled to death by looter capitalism so expect Hillary to be a mile high in Denver come August when the DLC holds it’s convention.

As amusing as the Democrat’s circus may be it is nothing like that of the Republicans who can ALWAYS be counted on to deliver the highest ratings on the freak show scale. The front runner, Il Duce Americano Rudolpho Giuliani is largely bypassing the state and focusing on Super Tuesday, his ghoulish wrapping of himself in 9/11 doesn’t go over very well when a gittar strummin’ preacher like Mike Huckabee is around, at least for now in the land of tall corn. Huckabee has been treated by the punditry like the second coming of Jesus Fucking Christ himself by the knuckle dragging foot soldiers of the ‘Christian’ Right and in something that I find to be quite humorous has in a way become the Republican party Wall Street establishment’s very own Frankenstein monster – after all, they only appeased the mouth breathing buffoons all too willing to put their kids to bed cold and hungry as long as they could wage total war against gays and Darwin but God forbid that a real Jesus juicer would have the audacity to actually occupy the Oval Office. The deceitful charlatans running the game were always in on the joke that George W. Bush was a white knuckle, mean as a snake dry drunk and former cokehead whose words were always betrayed by his deeds and that he would always be counted on to worship the moneychangers when it really came down to it but Huckabee justifiably scares the shit out of these people. I always predicted that the corporatists would one day have to throw against the Raptureheads and theocrats and the huckster from Hope with his populist outsider status worn on his sleeve could just have enough clout with the bible thumpers to be the one future Grand-Führer of the fetus wars who would also bring a bit of the real Jesus into the formula to finally run the moneychangers out of the temple – of course that they would be gassed along with the rest of the liberals, gays, hippies, feminists, Jews, Muslims, blacks and any other less than deserving human is a mere triviality.

Out of all the Hawkeye State bullshit I have to say that the rise of Huckabee who has Texas Walker Ranger Chuck Norris in tow as the real knee-slapper. It far surpasses for sheer over the top value the now resurgent candidacy of the pathetic John McCain who has been endorsed by his longtime warmongering crony Joseph Lieberman who showed up at a recent press event looking like the buttfuck twins clad in identical silly sweaters, the previously mentioned Giuliani hospitalization, the artful dodger and Massachusetts flip-flopper Willard Romney who may or may not believe that the devil was the brother of Jesus and is as slippery as a greased hamster at the annual Bohemian Grove gathering of elite hedonists and sodomites never ceases to amaze with his slickness, the ‘New Reagan’ Fred Thompson is occasionally seen wandering aimlessly and mumbling and just when the war against the brown menace is being stoked by the drooling, gun toting racist GOP freaks Tom Tancredo is nowhere to be found.

But my all time favorite bit of triviality in the runup to January 3rd had to be Huckabee’s utterly shameless Christmas commercial where he appeared with a fucking highlighted cross in the background that was Rovian imagery at it’s finest. The commercial was controversial to say the least but the greatest and most honest comment on this fucking disgrace was delivered by Ron Paul who while being interviewed on FOX let slip that the commercial brought to mind Sinclair Lewis’ classic statement on fascism with his hit it out of the park, spot on assessment that was allegedly supposed to be not a part of the actual interview:

“It reminds me of what Sinclair Lewis once said. He says, ‘when fascism comes to this country, it will be wrapped in the flag, carrying a cross.’ Now I don’t know whether that’s a fair assessment or not, but you wonder about using a cross, like he is the only Christian or implying that subtly. So, I don’t think I would ever use anything like that.”

Fucking Touche! In invoking Sinclair Lewis Paul pegged the entire fucking neocon movement and it’s alliance to the ‘Christian’ goose steppers who have taken the peaceful, loving and critical of wealth and hypocrisy Jesus Christ out of Christianity in favor of the Tim LaHaye/John Hagee version who chortles with righteous glee as he preaches his message of fuck the poor in between missions to drench Muslim children in napalm and white phosphorous and dreaming up plans to herd trainloads of gays into American gas chambers in the name of the great Christian nation. Huckabee is a cross between Lewis’ own Elmer Gantry and Andy Griffith’s Larry “Lonesome” Rhodes from the 1957 film classic A Face In The Crowd”.

Right The Fuck On! It’s no wonder that guy has crossover appeal and it’s equally obvious why he and Dennis Kucinich are treated as though they have leprosy by the party bosses – they are fucking rightfully horrified that what they are talking about may spread and infect moribund, fat assed Americans with a sense of moral outrage and a the seeds of an idea that maybe if they got their fucking asses off of their sofas and actually raised a bit of hell that things could change for the better.

But in the meantime we have the dog and pony show in Iowa, followed by New Hampshire, Nevada, South Carolina and whatever dipshit enclave of uninformed and angry fuckheads that are able to be used by the oligarchy to set the pace and give the ‘momentum’ to the bought and paid for future leaders of this sad post 9/11 land of sheep and shame. Iowa is a perfect example of why our political system is so fucked up today, could somebody please explain exactly why that it is that a shitty little Midwestern state with a total population that is less than most major cities is given such importance in the process of choosing a candidate along with it’s inbred northeastern cousin New Hampshire?

Maybe the whole caucus thing is quaint but it’s an anachronism that ill serves the rest of America which as a whole is sure as shit a much more diverse place than two hick states with a whopping total of eleven electoral votes. Quite simply put as the great H.L. Mencken once put it: “No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people. Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby”.


Rubes are just easier to fool and it’s always the nature of lemmings to follow.

Let the games begin!