No Christmas Miracles Bitch: Tebow Exposed

Jesus don’t want me for a sunbeam. ‘Cause sunbeams are not made like me.

Don’t expect me to cry for all the reasons you had to die. Don’t ever ask your

love of me.

Don’t expect me to cry.

Don’t expect me to lie.

Don’t expect me to die for thee.

– Nirvana (Jesus don’t want me for a sunbeam)

Much was made about media created phenom Tim Tebow’s pregame meeting with amputee High School quarterback Jacob Rainey who was flown to Buffalo for a nice bit of Christmas theatrics before Sunday’s Broncos vs. Bill Game. By the end of the afternoon, it was apparent to all but the blindest of the blind that Rainey could have given the now reeling Broncos a better shot than the most overrated quarterback in NFL history, at least the kid wouldn’t have thrown four picks. Just a bit of the sheen had worn off of the Mile High Messiah, Timothy Richard Tebow’s halo after a butt ugly beatdown by the Patriots but the chosen one’s Christmas Eve performance gave a new definition of the word fiasco. And to haters like myself all that I can say is – Hey, I fucking told you so. I admit that it’s been difficult to tolerate the two month running assault on common sense and football tradition that was the great Tebow PR machine, shredding up all those skeptics of the glorious ascension of the new American idol and at least according to some poor, wretched souls, the second coming of Christ himself. The amen chorus of the national punditry, the mouth-breathing “Christian” flockers and the sinister theocratic parallel universe had become so infatuated with the newborn king and his celebrity that apostates virtually had their tongues ripped out with fire-heated, cast iron tongs. The “all he does is win” meme was peddled like so much snake oil dipped religious folderol until it was finally shorn of its figleaf Saturday at Ralph Wilson Stadium when it was as if God himself chose to finally put to rest the absurdity that he really gives a rat’s ass about football. 


Tim Tebow, a quarterback who can’t throw has somehow been imbued with superhuman, dare I say divine powers for leading the theretofore woebegone Denver Broncos during a winning streak where the Mile High monsters eked out one close win after another largely to the credit of their balls nasty defense and kicker Matt Prater. Tebow of course got all the credit for the resurgence and in predictable manner is now being shorn of any of the blame for the last two losses. The Tebow winning streak was more than just a simple mirage, it was the type of mass insanity that conjures up memories of apocalyptic conjecture about smoking guns being mushroom clouds, Saddam Hussein’s weapons of mass destruction and the Iraq-bin Laden alliance to bring down the World Trade Center. The lazy swine in the sports media, absolutely pathetic with the exception of Dave Zirin, a giant among men with special note going to the ridiculous assholes in the Denver media market (Mark Kiszla, Woody Paige etcl) who joined the Tebowing terrorists in running the lamentable Kyle Orton out of town and pressuring the now doomed John Elway into installing, on the basis of hype and unrelenting pressure rather than any sort of merit their glorious loveboy at quarterback pushed this insanity. They are the Judith Millers of the national madness of Tebowmania. ESPN transformed itself into the Tebow network, and the naysayers about the greatness of Jesus Tebow were mocked, shunned and bent to conformity, much in the way that Bushreich critics were dealt with in the run up to the attack and occupation of Iraq. 

Any serious look at the Tebow winning streak by an objective football fan would see that the young man had very little to do with winning those games, he played better than could be expected in many but that sets the bar extremely low. After exorcising Orton the Broncos came back after 55 listless minutes to beat the Miami Dolphins juggernaut that was winless at the time in overtime 18-15, the South Florida stadium was filled to the brim with Tebow worshippers on Tim Tebow Day and the “legend” was launched. A bump in the road the next week when Tebow was mauled by the Detroit Lions in an embarrassing 45-10 home thumping still has the Christers squealing about religious persecution over their mocking of Tebow. Next up was a comeback win against the hated Oakland Raiders in the Black Hole. The 38-24 victory had more to do with a still rusty Carson Palmer throwing three picks, speedy Denver kick return specialist Eddie Royal taking one to the house and resurrected running back Willis McGahee making mincemeat out of the Raider defense in the second half for two long TD runs and 163 yards. The Raider win was out of an option package that belongs in high school and college so Tebow got all of the credit for executing the win, coach John Fox had listened to the Tebow cultists and changed the offense to fit their boy’s skill set. Next up was a 17-10 win against the dismal Kansas City Chiefs in which Tebow completed only two fucking passes! 

The streak continued in prime time on the NFL Network with a 17-13 comeback against the mouthy fat Rex Ryan and his now eliminated from the playoffs New York Jets, Tebow gets some credit here as his late touchdown run sealed the win. Win # 5 came at San Diego with the Chargers in freefall riding a five game losing streak and in overtime when their kicker was caught by the television cameras pissing in a bottle o the sidelines and then blowing the game winning kick, allowing Prater to win it with his own FG. Win #6 was an aberration being that it came against the woeful Minnesota Vikings who are still in some sort of post Brett Favre fugue state and have one of the worst defenses in the league. Said Vikings were also without superstar running back Adrian Peterson and were starting a rookie quarterback in Christian Ponder who threw three interceptions, the last one a gift to Denver’s Andre Goodman that set up another winning Prater field goal. Tebow threw for 202 yards in this one, 144 of them to a receiver, Demaryius Thomas who was labeled as such a bust that apparently nobody bothered to even cover him. With the Tebowmania in full throated frenzy and the fleet of bandwagons growing by the minute the myth took a hit with win #7, a 13-10 overtime win at home that was one of the greatest choke jobs ever by the gutsy and injury riddled Bears. With the Chicago defense having kept Tebow down and the Broncos scoreless for nearly 58 minutes collapsed. With Tebow having tossed a late score to Thomas to cut the lead to 10-7 the Broncos failed to recover an onside kick with 2:08 to go. Enter the latest goat in Chicago sports history, replacement running back Marion Barber who inexplicably ran out of bounds to stop the clock and save the Broncos around 40 seconds which allowed Prater to kick a 59 yarder to take the game to overtime. In the extra stanza, Barber broke through the line to redeem himself and while heading towards the winning touchdown that would ring down the curtain on the fabled Tebow’s winning streak fumbled the ball! Minutes later Prater kicked the winner. Barber, who is a stone Jesus freak himself had the second worst week for a former Dallas Cowboy turned Chicago Bear but only because Sam Hurd was busted by the Feds for his role in setting up a drug distribution network. The Tebow fans would swear that Barber was blown out of bounds by the breath of God himself and that Jesus was right there causing the Barber overtime fumble. 


The next week wasn’t so good for the Mile High Messiah. A nearly unprecedented second Sports Illustrated cover appearance in less than a month and a classic skit on the haven of liberal demonology that is Saturday Night Live during which Jesus himself told Tebow to take it down a notch, the national media frenzy over a matchup against Tom Brady, Bill Belichick and the New England Patriots were a one-two-three combination that not even Orange Jesus would be able to overcome. The SNL skit was hilarious and went viral, bringing the condemnation of the Christers bleating about mockery of their religion and bigotry, the second being a thing that they are intimately familiar with when it comes to gays, Muslims and liberals. Radical cleric Pat Robertson taking a rest from anti-gay demagoguery and blaming natural disasters on the wrath of God towards a society that tolerates homosexuals came out and howled in mock outrage as well. The Christers sure can’t take it when they themselves are scorned and dragging their Manchurian Candidate Tebow through shit is akin to raw blasphemy right up there with the infamous Piss Christ. The latest target of these neo-Nazi swine is HBO comic Bill Maher who had the audacity to gloat on TWITter about Tebow’s rancid Christmas Eve performance in Buffalo: “Wow, Jesus just fucked #TimTebow bad! And on Xmas Eve! Somewhere in hell Satan is tebowing, saying to Hitler “Hey, Buffalo’s killing them.”.  There are now calls for boycotts against HBO for Maher’s comments – why don’t these anal retentive, fired to the max with hatred and insipid pigfuckers just get a life already? Not that Maher is a favorite of mine personally, he is a virulent anti-Muslim bigot in his own right who at least in that regard has much in common with the Tebowers, teabaggers and the rest of the filth that inhabits the right wing in this country. He is also a sleazy apologist for Israeli atrocities but come on, while most of us know that it’s utter bullshit isn’t this country supposed to stand for the ability to engage in free speech? The Tebowers are a bunch of charlatans anyway, how many of them actually went to church on Christmas morning this year and how many stayed at home to engage in the act of worship of mammon over the teachings of Christ and fornicated like horny rats on their living room floors in an orgy of festive gift wrapping and made in China consumer goods? Jesus Christ, just fuck these people already. Go away and emigrate to Iran or Israel if you all enjoy living in a totalitarian theocratic state.

But I digress…

The Denver Broncos are now 8-7 and after two consecutive turds laid by Tebow are facing a must win game against the Kansas City Chiefs on Sunday to get into the playoffs. The same Kansas City Chiefs who claimed Kyle Orton off of waivers last month and now the one who was so brutally scourged and run out of Denver on a rail gets the chance to come back and pound in the nails.

Shit, the irony is delicious isn’t it?

Just my two cents over the morning cup o’ Joe

Red State:The Enemy Within

“You’re already dead sinner. You destroyed your spirit in a waste of shame.”

-Pastor Abin Cooper

“People just do the strangest things when they believe they’re entitled, but they do even stranger things when they just plain believe.”

-Agent Joseph Keenan

Earlier this week I had the opportunity to watch Kevin Smith’s new movie Red State and have to say that is an audacious exercise in film-making unlike anything that I have ever seen before. Smith, more famous for his comedic talents seen in movies like the cult classic Clerks and the religious satire Dogma boldly goes straight for the jugular in this scathing work of truly important social commentary. With America having been flipped fascist, largely through the work of Christian zealots whose gospel bears scant resemblance of the teachings of Jesus Christ far too little serious attention is given to the dangerous and hateful enemy within. The type of venomous, intolerant, anti-intellectual and when it comes down to it just plain anti-American Evangelical Christianity that wants to remake society into a theocratic militarized dictatorship to enforce their brutal vision of utopia on all who are different from them is horrifying and dangerous. This sort of mutated Christianity has metastasized throughout America like a ravenous cancer or in a red state context, an alien strain of kudzu and has played no small part in the destruction of our once functional but now failed political system. Red State does the unthinkable in post 9/11 America by calling a spade a spade regarding the menace of Christian extremism.

The movie is set in an unidentified part of heartland America, likely a state that is solidly Republican where the mundane suburban communities contain the truly monstrous, the good Germans and little Eichmanns of this rotting and adrift empire. Innocuous homes with finely kept lawns similar to where religious fanatic Michele Bachmann’s hero John Wayne Gacy once lived and brutally murdered gay young men all while appearing to be outwardly normal. The movie particularly focuses on the savage homophobia, scapegoating and desire to eradicate gay people from the world looked down upon by a wrathful and merciless God. The plot begins when three horny teenagers named Travis, Jared and Billy Ray surfing the sex sites on the internet via their smart phone set up an arrangement to meet an older woman who has promised to take on all three of them. The boys borrow one of their parents’ car and head off to fictional Cooper’s Dell in search of that nasty sort of sexual debauchery that only a youngster with little maturity and a dick as hard as Chinese arithmetic can truly understand. Making jokes along the way to the encounter about how it’s going to be like fucking their mothers the boys sideswipe a vehicle where the local sheriff, Sheriff Wynan is engaged in sex with another man and flee the scene of the accident.

Travis, Jared and Billy Ray then roll up in front of a trailer where the woman who had solicited the encounter, Sarah Cooper who is played by Melissa Leo (who just won the Oscar as Best Supporting Actress for her tour de force role as the conniving mother in The Fighter) greets them. The boys are offered beer by Sarah who insists that they drink before having sex. As the three get undressed they discover that the beer has been drugged and all pass out. When they awaken they are in a chapel with a handful of worshippers although not sitting in pews, Jared is in a cloth covered cage being carried into the room while the other two are bound in a crawlspace below the pulpit. To his horror they realize that they are captives of the virulently anti-gay, militant pastor Abin Cooper who played by Michael Parks, former star of the 1960s television series Then Came Bronson. Parks performance, loosely based on the notorious Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church is mesmerizing and while due to the subject matter which would scramble hordes of thuggish Christian activists like squadrons of S.A. brownshirts he will sadly not receive the recognition that he is deserving of for this role. Parks is not the hellfire and brimstone type, preaching politics from their taxpayer subsidized den of iniquity churches, he is actually soft-spoken but the demeanor masks a dark fanaticism that is the one most dangerous trait of the true believers, an incandescent inner psychotic fervor.  This is an Oscar winning caliber type of performance by Mr. Parks, a career keystone yet Red State will likely be ignored by the cowardly media and corrupt and morally debased Hollywood kingmakers.

We soon find out that Sarah, the woman who lured the boys into a trap is the pastor’s daughter sitting among the other in the pews. Cooper begins a long sermon on the evils of society and blaming homosexuals who he calls “Satan’s instrument on Earth” in the manner that Evangelical Christian pastors across the land do on a daily basis. The children in the audience are then led from the room by Sarah’s daughter Cheyenne (Kerry Bishé) and the sermon continues. Now it is seen that a man has been bound to a cross on the altar with plastic wrap, a bondage gag-ball like the ones in the basement scene in Pulp Fiction in his mouth to muffle his cries. This is a gay victim previously entrapped in an internet chat room scam who was lured into the clutches of the church similar to the three boys. After more anti-gay demagogy in his soft voice, Cooper gives the order, a gun is produced from inside a bible and the man is executed. His body is dropped into the crawlspace where Travis and Billy Ray have been imprisoned. Jared soon discovers that he is to be the next one on the cross to be denounced and murdered. 

Meanwhile, Sheriff Wynan has dispatched a deputy to find the car that hit him and sits in his office distraught and fondling his pistol while looking at a picture of his wife on his desk. The deputy finds the boys’ parents car with the damage at the Cooper compound. Inside the church Jared and Billy Ray have now managed to cut through their plastic wrap using a protruding broken bone of the dead gay man and are desperately trying to escape with several church members in hot pursuit. Billy Ray pursued by Sarah’s husband Caleb through the narrow basement corridors enters a room and finds it is an arsenal, stocked with various forms of weaponry. The grabs an automatic rifle as Caleb pulls his own gun and they both shoot each other. Abin Cooper has gone to the front gate to meet with deputy Pete who hears the shots and is then himself shot dead by church member Mordecai. Cooper gets on the slain officer’s radio and taunts and threatens Sheriff Wynan with exposing his homosexuality to his wife using pictures that the church has taken. The sheriff then appears ready to put his gun to his head but right before doing so spots a notice from the ATF on the office wall and  puts in a call to bring in the Feds. In a new scene the phone rings at the home of special agent Joseph Keenan, played by John Goodman rousting him from bed that ends up with an order to go to visit the compound. The church had been under investigation for the acquisition of weapons.

Back inside the chapel, Jared is now on the cross while Sarah wails at him over the death of her husband, his body now in front of the congregation as Abin Cooper sermonizes and plays the piano in a service for Caleb. Travis, who played dead when the men of the congregation went to investigate the shooting has grabbed and automatic weapon and makes a break to escape with the male church members in hot pursuit. When Jared emerges from the building into the courtyard he is shot down. The ATF force led by Keenan is now outside of the gates of the compound. The shooter was closeted gay Sheriff Wynan who is pounded upon and dressed down by Keenan for his trigger happy escalation of the situation. Keenan is outraged, having already made reference to the agency’s past history when on the phone with his superior he fully understands the potential for violence. Inside the compound the members arm themselves and prepare to go out in a blaze of glory. Keenan announces through a bullhorn the intent to execute a search warrant on the property and after a brief moment of quiet Cooper appears in an upper window with a hunting rifle and kills an ATF officer with a shot to the head, taunting the heavily armed government men by shouting “come on” after which all hell breaks loose.

Keenan calls to request backup and to inform his superior officers that the situation has escalated into a shoot out. He is asked about media and gives the response that due to the remoteness of the compound that media is not a factor. Keenan is then given the order to storm the complex and kill all within to which he pleads that there are kids inside before asking for something in writing to protect himself and his field office before he agrees to execute the order. In the next scene, Keenan is in a stable when he informs one of his agents that the situation has been “reclassified” and that they are going to “take down this domestic terrorist cell.” As the agent pleads with him for a measured response Keenan reads an email from his cellphone. The email is an official statement:

Our investigation of the Five Points Church in Cooper’s Dell has uncovered an extremely hostile domestic terrorist cell, heavily armed with intentions of bombing a local shopping mall this morning. When we came with arrest warrants they opened fire on us, killing the assistant special agent in charge, giving us no choice but to take the premises with deadly force. In the resulting firefight all suspects were killed. 

The young agent named Harry is distraught and argues with Keenan that there are children inside and that they are going to be the “bad guys” in this situation but is rebuffed coldly. Keenan says “I got eighteen years in, I’m not telling my wife she’s got to clip coupons till we’re dead because I can’t follow a simple order, shitty as that order is…and we’re not talking about Gandhi here”. Harry struggles with the order and then passes it on. As Cheyenne has gone outside to plead with the agents for mercy due to the children an agent produces a throwaway weapon, fires shots and gives it to her, his intent is obviously to gun her down in cold blood as soon as she takes it but while he is distracted and struggling with the girl Sarah walks up behind him and shoots him in the back of the head. Back inside, Cheyenne frees Jared who is bound to the cross and implores him to go with her to the agents to tell the real story, that the terrorist threat was bogus and that they could both stop the slaughter. Sarah finds the two in a room and a struggle ensues where by accident Cheyenne shoots her own mother. Her and Jared then run from the building to confront Keenan imploring him to keep the ATF men from killing the children but she is then shot in the head at point blank range by agent Harry who also guns down Jared. He is just following orders.

Then a bizarre and deafening sound like a roar of a mighty trumpet is heard, the agents are confused but the sound is heard by Pastor Cooper and the remaining live members of the church who have not been killed in the shootout begin to celebrate. They have interpreted the sound as God’s message that the judgement day has come and emerge from the compound unarmed. Cooper sermonizes to the stunned agents about the four angels being loosed and that the Rapture has come. He rants at the “G” men, “G” for godless, “G” for government and advances, taunting Keenan to shoot him. The camera then pans out and the next scene has Keenan in front of his superiors in an inquiry explaining what happened next,  that he subdued the suspect with a head butt and rounded up the remaining church members. The horn of God was revealed to be just a random act by a bunch of hippie pot farmers on a neighboring property who had hooked an ipod up to a fire engine siren in order to fuck with Cooper’s flock who were being harassed by Cooper’s goons by getting their hopes up for the Rapture. He was chastised for disobeying a direct order and then told he’s been promoted. When asking about Cooper’s fate he is fed the whopper that “the U.S. government doesn’t kill people in or out of custody” and that under the Patriot Act that Cooper would be disappeared without trial. The recording device is then turned off and Keenan’s superiors state, quite correctly that “if you kill an American because of a religious belief, you are a terrorist” and that people like Cooper should be locked up under the post 9/11 rules that have eviscerated the Constitution. Keenan then asks why he was given the order to kill the Cooper clan and his boss replies with a smirk “fuck people like this, they’re animals” and that Jesus saves but he isn’t going to save Pastor Cooper from a fuckload of prison rape. The final scene has Cooper in a prison cell sermonizing and singing and one of the fellow prisoners shouts “shut the fuck up”.

Red State is brilliant in it’s commentary, not only for bringing attention the the seriously dangerous form of violent Christianity that has become so prevalent since the 1980’s and the militia types that are drawn to it but also in that it criticizes the heavy handed actions of the government. The “terrorist” attacks of 9/11 and the transformation of the United States into a fascist police state where posse comitatus and habeas corpus have been junked have enabled local police and governments to become militarized. The use of this power, not constrained by any sort of traditional law will become more commonplace as the ongoing economic collapse worsens and as the people take to the streets in protest. The police are already using violence to put down Occupy movement demonstrations that are a real grass roots uprising unlike the phony right-wing Tea Party and if they continue to grow they will represent a threat to the status quo that absolutely will not be tolerated. Serious civil unrest is coming to America very soon, one need only to look at the rest of the world and the growing backlash against vampire capitalism. The ruling class is not going to wait much longer before loosing the government on the protests which will only worsen the situation as the society begins to unravel. The wild card are the Christian fanatics, who truly harbor terrorist intent and are like Pastor Cooper’s clan, armed to the teeth and ready to rumble. They will be used by the establishment as shock troops when the time comes and they will be backed by government thugs as they defend the existing order. Judgment day is getting closer although not in any biblical sense and be assured that there will be blood.

I would strongly recommend Red State to all readers, this is not a movie that is going to be promoted by anything other than word of mouth, heretical that it is to the powerful and those that they depend upon to maintain their blessed order. 

Just my two cents

EE

The Republican Perpetual Hate Machine

 
“What was behind that consuming hatred? At first I thought that it was mere evangelical passion. Evangelical Christianity, as everybody knows, is founded upon hate, as the Christianity of Christ was founded upon love”

-H.L. Mencken


Mounting war casualties, global warming, millions of uninsured, inability to control our borders, skyrocketing deficits, falling dollar, whopping trade imbalances, gas gouging, corporate corruption, wars and rumors of wars, a burst housing market bubble, illegal government spying, rampant systemic corruption, torture, war atrocities, the growing threat of a domestic mercenary army, a crumbling infrastructure, Bin Laden still on the loose, failing schools, loss of competitiveness, war profiteering, a shrinking middle class, health care crisis, rigged markets, terrorist plots, congressional scandals, traitors residing in the White House, politicizing the judicial system, creeping police state paranoia: BIG FUCKING DEAL!

Overturning Roe v. Wade as a step towards relegating women to their rightful subordinate places in a strong daddy ‘Christian’ nation – “a glorious day of human liberty and freedom” according to the zealotous Sam Brownback – now that is a major crisis deserving of all the energy that a potential future Republican president can muster. Thursday night’s shameful parade of dissembling shitheads assembled at the iconic Ronald Reagan’s presidential library was a stunning exhibition of just how low that Republicans will go in order to pander to the American fascists of the Bible Belt Taliban – with the notalbe exception of 9/11 fear pimp Rudy Giuliani whose hedged response drew the media as sharks to chum or more apropos as flies to shit. Secondary to propping themselves up as bulwarks to shore up that all important wedge issue as a barricade between the godly and the godless was near lockstep unison (with the exception of Texas Congressman Ron Paul who will be marginalized very,very quickly) in adhering to continuing to wage perpetual imperialist wars lest the Rapture be postponed and the return of whoop ass Jesus to smite the heathens and liberals be put off.

Can you give me one big fucking heartfelt “Hallelujah”?

Somewhat lost in the media saturation coverage of the anti-abortion cacophony of parasites during that dog and pony show featuring ten nattering nabobs of nonsense pandering to a dangerous fringe element was the Pelosi-Hoyer House passage of a new hate crimes bill that could potentially deprive the right wing perpetual hate machine of much of the fuel that it needs to run at peak level. As the parable goes you should judge a man by his deeds and not his words, and may the mass Republican rejection of the addition of gender and sexual orientation to federally protected categories under hate crimes law be exposed for all that it is. In another era another rogue regime and it’s vicious mobs took to the streets to scream “JUDEN” and to smash windows, loot, pillage and burn and who in the fuck knows what sort of mayhem will be unleashed with our naked emperor’s decree of a coming veto which will place his seal of approval on the rapidly metastasizing cancer that is eating away at our society courtesy of an overabundance of well paid, frothing at the mouth fascist demagogues.

And in keeping true to his ongoing appeasement of the rubber fetus crowd Le Enfant Terrible has also served notice that the next one of his onslaught of vetoes post condoning mass pogroms against gays will be to continue to wage no holds barred culture war by striking down any potential legislative measures that impede the progress of the replacement of the Constitution with the Malleus Maleficarum. I am unabashedly in favor of abortion which I personally feel is vastly underrated as if applied correctly we could nip the mass production of the progeny of these goose stepping theocratic tyrants in the bud since they are anyway doomed to a lifetime of hateful ignorance courtesy of the retrograde moron home schooling that is so popular among the dominionists. If you don’t think that the children of the corn are potentially dangerous – then look at the American madrassas like the one in the movie Jesus Camp where these impressionable young minds are being programmed exactly like their Islamic counterparts who are taught to shoot a gun as soon as they are capable of holding one and where hateful ephitets are learned as parts of the vocabulary right after mommy, daddy and potty. In fact since these fucking retards don’t believe in birth control to limit their dumping of their toxic waste on society mass abortion should seriously be considered. Hell, we can even make it retroactive as far as I am concerned because the more of these fuckers that can be eliminated the better – but I am rambling and babbling now so I digress.

The ongoing Republican tailoring of the message in order to appeal to these lunatics is like the Antichrist himself is sticking his flickering forked tongue out for a longing passionate kiss from the pathetic degenerates of the base -serpentine, lascivious, steamy, lustful, begging for an embrace. Go to him, give yourself over to your darkest urges, unleash your desires and press your lips to his – only do not open your eyes as you will discover that it is a fetid demon reeking of brimstone and rendered rancid and unholy by the hatred that it feeds upon and the souls that it has so easily seduced.

The base must be fed, their primal instincts oozing from their unkempt, savage pores and polluting the air in their immediate vicinity with a palpable stench. Karl Rove like Colonel Kilgore recognizes a smell that can be equated to ‘victory’ and therefore mans the parapets above the rabble in the courtyard and chucks down chunks of bloody red meat by the shovelful because they must feed in order to survive, like the dumb animals that they are. The yokels that are the ignorant, unwashed, uneducated, hate crazed, Jesus juicing, bible thumping, cross burning, NASCAR watching, knuckle-dragging red state fascists need constant nourishment to keep their strength up for when they are unleashed on decent society.

And with the renewed ‘culture war’ offensive we all can rest assured that those KBR detention camps that have been funded by YOUR tax dollars will soon be open for business. Much like the right-wing prototype Adolf Hitler the Republican Nazi Party are once again eager to emphasize they are determined to assign subhuman status to a large group of their own citizenry. Never mind that the real subhumans are the same south of the Mason-Dixon line knuckle draggers whose slothful existence is an affront to the concept of a progressive civilization as well as to the idea of the superior intelligence of mankind over such lesser creatures as swamp dwelling slugs much like our southern brethren.

The Bush administration however is all too happy to cast their lot once and for all with the same ignorant sons of bitches and bastards whose complete lack of anything within their inner selves that even remotely resembles an ability to think either critically or rationally have damned near turned ‘democracy’ into a pox on western civilization. When a bewildered herd of dirty, rebel flag waving, grit sucking mongrels are allowed so much leeway in determining the outcome of the very elections that at least in theory allow for a representative government that acts on behalf of and in the best interests of all of the people to enforce their Neanderthal will down the throats of normal Americans it may be time to rethink this whole fucking mess and look for a more effective system. Don’t count on the whores of the DLC to figure out how to build better mousetraps either, they are too busy collecting their regular installments of thirty pieces of silver from corporate greedheads who care even less about this fucking country than the GOP base or Al Qaeda for that matter – not that there is much difference as they share the same goals.

After all, these are the same goddamned idiots who gave us George W. Bush as their champion in the first place and subsequently turned us into both the enemy and the laughingstock of the entire civilized world. General Sherman shouldn’t have stopped with burning down Atlanta, he should have torched the entire fucking south and then sowed the fields with salt so that nothing could ever grow there again…we all make strategic blunders and unfortunately William Tecumseh Sherman couldn’t see into the future to where the rebel flag would fly again throughout the red states and the dumbest, most hateful, regressive toads in America would one day also hold the most political power. You see, to the peckerwood rubes of the south this is a continuation of the Civil War, a rematch and a chance to get even and their ancestors may have gotten their asses handed to them on the battlefield but they hold a mean-assed grudge that is passed down through each generation in a very European fashion and now they are determined to settle the score.

The fires of southern indignation are stoked by bigotry, religious intolerance, willful ignorance, belligerent nationalism, indignity over the loss of the civil war has been passed down through generations as well and the people have been turned mean. This cultural and intellectual malaise is further facilitated by poor educational opportunities, lack of upward mobility and by demagogues ranting about the evils of liberalism, the welfare state and those who would seek to remove god from their society. Being that a large portion of southerners are held in sway by the snake handlers in the pulpits of both strip mall and mega churches they are easily dominated and controlled by those who seek to exploit their regressive views and imbecilic mentalities to further their own abilities to hold power. Jim Crow is still alive and well in many areas of the south, only this time instead of being at the forefront of southern culture he exists just beneath the surface, like a killer shark lurking, waiting to feed and homosexuals are just the appetizer.

In Chris Hedges’ outstanding new book American Fascists the author often refers to his mentor Dr. James Luther Adams who had witnessed first hand the rise of the Nazis while in Germany in the 1930’s:

Adams, finally, told us to watch closely what the Christian Right did to homosexuals. The Nazis had used “values” to launch state repression of opponents. Hitler, days after he took power in 1933, imposed a ban on all homosexual and lesbian organizations. He ordered raids on places where homosexuals gathered, culminating in the ransacking of the Institute for Sexual Science in Berlin and the permanent exile of its director, Magnus Hirschfield. Thousands of volumes from the institute’s library were tossed into a bonfire. The stripping of gay and lesbian Germans of their civil rights was largely cheered by the German churches. But this campaign legitimized tactics, outside the law that would soon be employed against others. Adams said that homosexuals would be the first “social deviants” singled out and disempowered by the Christian Right. We would be the next.

Radical cleric James Dobson and the rest of the blasphemous cocksuckers who have stolen Jesus under the cover of a television projected electronic umbrella of mass national ignorance are taking to their goat barn pulpits to roar hellfire and damnation at the godless heathen liberals for daring to limit their spewing of hatred against the mythical and dreaded ‘homosexual agenda’. Dobson was among the first to threaten retribution against the White House if the hate crime bill wasn’t smacked down immediately. Herr Dobson was quoted in an Associated Press story as saying that the intention of the legislation was…:

“to muzzle people of faith who dare to express their moral and biblical concerns about homosexuality.” If you read the Bible in a certain way, he told his broadcast listeners, “you may be guilty of committing a ’thought crime.”’

I might elaborate in my own words that when it really comes down to it if you “read the bible in a certain way” you could also come to believe that Jesus is a bloodthirsty warmonger with a deep seated hatred of the poor and downtrodden that is only exceeded by his lust for war – and especially for the epic carnage of a bloodletting for the ages that would claim the lives of more Jews than were killed by Hitler so that the wet dreams of rapture pimps like Timothy LaHaye can come to pass.

Jesus Christ said not one fucking word about homosexuality but he did preach at length about that other dreaded H word that the right hates like a vampire hates garlic and a theocrat hates the constitution – HYPOCRISY! And what better example of this rampant hypocrisy than the notorious White House sex toy who is the phony reporter and gay prostitute Jeff Gannon (hotmilitarystuds.com) show up for the yesterday’s National Day of Prayer on the Capitol lawn as a spokesman for the International Bible Reading Association. And then there is Pastor Ted and every other closet dwelling, two-faced lowlife who whores themselves out to the Republican party’s anti-American agenda. At least atheists also showed up in Washington too announcing a National Day Of Reason (which didn’t garner much media attention) to offer a counter to the freaks which while having lower attendance than even a typical Tampa Bay Devil Rays home game had the best line of the day as attributed to Rick Wingrove via the WA PO’s Dana Milbank:

“This is the beginning of a theocratic dictatorship, or maybe a better name is a holy dictatorship. “You might as well be reading the charter documents of the freaking Taliban”

Touché!

But it isn’t about Jesus Christ at all now is it? It’s all about power and the ability to exploit the blind spots in democracy in order to obtain the slimmest of margins and to then exercise the tyranny of the majority to use the power of the government in order to crush all those deemed as lesser beings beneath the jackbooted heels of a theocratic fascist police state. Were Christ to return to earth tomorrow he would be decried as a treasonous liberal by the GOP state controlled media, would be denounced as a long haired, anti-American peacenik who supports the terrorists, hates freedom, is a commie and is unpatriotic. Then after the electronic crucifixion would be arrested as an enemy combatant and would be just another Middle-Eastern man in an orange jumpsuit locked up in a tiny cell in Gitmo. You see, GOP Jesus and today’s Pharisees and moneychangers have so successfully chased Jesus of Nazareth’s ass out of the temple and he sure as hell ain’t ever coming back as long as they have any fucking thing to say about it.

If there is such a place as hell then goddammit may all of these diseased pig-fuckers one day rot there and may they be forced to spend all of eternity blowing flock after flock of Satan’s personal pet goats all the while being heckled by the Reverend Fred Phelps and Rick Santorum. And when the goats are tired of being sucked off then may they all roast on spits until their rotten flesh boils and rolls off of their carcasses like tallow. But until then let there be legislation or whatever else that it takes to marginalize the utter vileness of these vomit spewing ass clowns. Let them be marginalized and mocked and chased from the public realm where they can conduct their black masses over the boiling and festering cauldrons of hate that are their congregations. Let them retreat to the confines of their taxpayer subsidized mega-churches where they hold their bund meetings and covet each other’s asses, wives and sports utility vehicles and let them stay there, stigmatized as the lepers that they are by a society that has no time for the psychopathic ravings of such scum. And let there be laws so that whenever they slime out for their thinly veiled pogroms that the police have the power to turn the fire hoses on them and to wash all of the rats into the sewers where they belong….and then weld the manhole covers shut to keep it down there forever.

Fetus Wars

An ugly intramural skirmish has broken out amongst the professional haters of the extremist ‘Christian’ right. The reactionary elements that have held sway over the blistering agenda of bigotry and hatred through the manipulation of phony moral issues like gay marriage and abortion are apoplectic that they are losing members of the flock to those who preach more rational, more traditional Christian values rather than the apostasy of the generations of strip mall and mega church fundies weaned on the ultra-violent Left Behind pulp fiction novels of Timothy LaHaye and their apocalyptic dementia that has transformed Jesus Christ into some sort of malevolent avenger intent at returning to earth to murder millions for the glory of the Rapture pimps.

Now for the first time being challenged in the ideological arena by Christians with true humanitarian values more in line with the prince of peace rather than the god of war the hucksters, hate mongers and goats among sheep are striking out. The usual fifth columnist, anti-American activist suspects including James Dobson, Gary Bauer, Tony Perkins, Donald Wildmon and Paul Weyrich recenty blasted National Association of Evangelicals director Rev. Richard Cizik in a letter reeking of brimstone for daring to suggest that taking a stand against global warming as a moral issue that –GASP – was destroying God’s earth.

The American mullahs called for Cizik’s head on a platter for daring to deviate from the more politically successful homosexual witch hunts and that wonderful 3 card monte scam that is the Orwellian named pro-life movement. God forbid that the hidden agenda of the well connected right-wing lynch mob’s true agenda is exposed which is evident by Tony Perkins’ comments: We’re saying what is being done here,” Mr. Perkins said, “is a concerted effort to shift the focus of evangelical Christians to these issues that draw warm and fuzzies from liberal crusaders.” Hitler hated liberals too, and in taking a look back at history homosexuals were only an appetizer for the Third Reich’s voracious appetite for human suffering…but I’m getting ahead of myself here.

The entire abortion farce is as essential a lure to victims as is candy to a schoolyard pedophile when it comes to the snake oil salesmen of the Religious Right. The animosity that fuels the movement is largely fueled by a highly organized, well-funded activist machine that uses the power of the so-called pro life crusade to tap into the inner anger of the economically disenfranchised who have been victimized by the ravages of years of Reaganaut greedheads conducting a take no prisoners looting spree and a savage war on the middle and lower classes.

This raw anger is then harnessed by opportunistic, power mad televangelists and assorted other shamans and is channeled into a vicious backlash against the perceived evils of liberalism and world that they blame for all of their misfortune and the demonizing of women’s rights that is represented by Roe V. Wade is an opportune and fat target. For abortion is a super charged emotional issue that can be cloaked in Manichean terms by propagandists and right-wing wordsmiths and it is especially successful in pandering to those who are the most ignorant and has spread like mutant kudzu through the red states in peckerwood nation.

Thomas Frank’s excellent book What’s The Matter With Kansas takes a hard look at the 1990’s rise of religious extremism on the basis of using abortion as a war cry against modern progressive society. Frank analyzes the nation’s hard rightward lurch by looking at that most mythical bastion of Americana that is the state of Kansas. Hell, what could be more reminiscent of the baseball, hotdogs, mom and apple pie version of that great white picket fence land of yore, Oz and Bob Dole than the crappy Midwestern state that has long been the most agonizing place that motorists have had to drive through to get to someplace else. Militant anti-reproductive rights vampire Randall Terry and Operation Rescue had made similar connections between Kansas and the American psyche and descended like a plague of locusts on Wichita for massive rallies and civil disobedience during the so-called ‘Summer of Mercy’ back in 1991 that was Mecca for the rubber fetus crowd – Pat Robertson, James Dobson and others gave fire and brimstone speechs at a Nuremberg style rally in Cessna Stadium (home of the Wichita State Shockers) to a fired up mob of culture warriors. Any resemblance between the huge rally and footage from Leni Riefenstahl’s Triumph Of The Will is purely coincidental.

As is evident from Newton McPherson Gingrich’s latching onto the Religous Right’s agenda like a barnacle on the bottom of a garbage scow it is a must for every neo-fascist political prick with a disdain for constitutional democracy and delusions of grandeur to curry favor with the American Taliban. Aspiring nominee and shameless phony Mitt Romney has been spending a fortune sucking up to the anti-democratic tendencies of the Religious Right extremists and Jerry Falwell is going to have to undergo surgery to remove Manchurian McCain’s nose from where it has been permanently imbedded between the fleshy cheeks of his big fat ass.

Then there is the savage anti-gay onslaught that is encouraged at every step by demagogues who won’t be happy until they incite pogroms and the streets are running red with blood. This has proven to be a big winner as a red meat issue to the pathetic losers looking for scapegoats for their own failed lives and has irresistible allure to the Republican party apratchik as well as their God squad Gauleiters. Even nice guy NFL Indianapolis Colts coach Tony Dungy’s luminous halo is being drawn over to the dark side and coming to resemble the light of the fires of hatred and intolerance rather than the beacon of Christlike compassion that the media would have you believe. The first black coach to win a Super Bowl is essentially spitting on the hard fought sacrifices by Civil Rights activists who rebelled against bigotry and won by making an appearance in front of a militant anti-gay group with an affiliation to Christian jihadist James Dobson’s Focus On Family. Maybe he and Ann Coulter can lead the choir in an inspiring rendition of Burn the Faggots at The Stake!

When defending Dungy’s visit to the temple of hate with a lame press release “Coach Dungy’s feelings on the importance of marriage and family are well known” the Colts themselves are as guilty of hypocrisy and endorsing these theocratic fascist groups through their lack of action. If there is a time when the NFL could and should make a serious example that they condemn discrimination of all sort then Dungy and the Colts should be slapped with a serious penalty – imagine the uproar if a white coach made a guest appearance at a Ku Klux Klan or similar white supremacist gathering.

I never did get a good handle on all of this cloaking of raw bigotry, vicious scapegoating and dehumanization in the language of “pro-family” and “pro-marriage”. If the Religious Right really gave a rat’s ass about family they would not be serving as brownshirts for a rapacious monopoly capitalist system that leaves families in disarray and children hungry, uninsured and entrapped in a desperation that will last a lifetime. Increasing poverty and hopelessness it seems is the desired result of the theocratic fascist movement which as Chris Hedges put it in his great American Fascists: The Christian Right And The War On America is necessary to create a “culture of despair” that makes recruitment to this most anti-democratic of movements much easier for the reptillian Elmer Gantry style preachers looking to build the strength of their local bunds.

The pro-marriage angle is just more of the same horseshit, economic problems are among the top contributors to stress on relationships and the Calvinistic attitude towards piling up Earthly rewards as a show of God’s favoritism is anathema to Christ’s work to minister to the poor, the sick and the downtrodden. When was the last time that Jerry Falwell or any of the maggots in the mix ever even pretended to give a tin shit about the plight of America’s homeless?

There is also nothing about divorce in the gospels of the hate mongers, it would seem to me that any movement that is truly interested in propping up the institution of marriage would look into strengthening the bonds of matrimony by offering financial counseling, community outreach and sermons and lessons accentuating the positive virtues of building a strong family structure by emphasizing the sacred vows. Of course such a focus would strongly condemn adultery, the practice of which the last time that I looked was actually one of the motherfucking Ten Commandments! This would of course be inconvenient for the serial philanderers amongst the flock including the politicians and the mega-church ringmasters. Hell, maybe a bit more focus on propping up the family rather than knee jerk phantom issues could even prevented a fine Christian man like Pastor Ted Haggard from wandering northward in search of anal sex and crystal meth.

The ugly truth is that the entire pro-family/marriage movement is as big a fraud as the culture of life that cares so much for it that it condones and does so with smugness and self-righteous glee at the wanton slaughter of brown skinned, Muslim children on the front lines of the battle of Armageddon. Save the fetus, slay the child – double bonus points said child happens to be incinerated in a blaze of napalm or white phosphorous.

It’s all nothing more of the same standard slick marketing, chicanery and fraud that has been so perfected by McCarthyist Republican trolls over the past half-century or so. It is all about power, and it is all about hate and anybody who dares to tell you anything else is pissing on your leg and telling you that it’s raining. In American Fascists Hedges often refers to his mentor Dr. James Luther Adams who had witnessed first hand the rise of the Nazis while in Germany in the 1930’s:

Adams, finally, told us to watch closely what the Christian Right did to homosexuals. The Nazis had used “values” to launch state repression of opponents. Hitler, days after he took power in 1933, imposed a ban on all homosexual and lesbian organizations. He ordered raids on places where homosexuals gathered, culminating in the ransacking of the Institute for Sexual Science in Berlin and the permanent exile of its director, Magnus Hirschfield. Thousands of volumes from the institute’s library were tossed into a bonfire. The stripping of gay and lesbian Germans of their civil rights was largely cheered by the German churches. But this campaign legitimized tactics, outside the law that would soon be employed against others. Adams said that homosexuals would be the first “social deviants” singled out and disempowered by the Christian Right. We would be the next.

 I have always strongly suspected that George W. Bush was not really the one to be afraid of, that he was only a willing dupe who would allow the constitution to be gutted, torture to be codified, a police state infrastructure put into place and the ground sown for a true tyranny as vile and destructive as any since Hitler’s Reich.

This much has happened already and the kingmakers are still conducting auditions for the chosen one who will be the future Führer of the Fetus Wars and finish the job of swapping out the Constitution for the Malleus Maleficarum.

By Ed Encho

Start Taxing the Goat Barn Megachurches

 

“Don’t stay away from church because there are so many hypocrites. There’s always room for one more.” 

-Arthur Adams

A California church was recently ordered to turn over records to the IRS for an anti-war sermon delivered in 2004 which should evoke the very important question on whether the Bush administration is using the agency for Nixon style harassment of it’s critics. Just what in the hell kind of a down the rabbit hole, through the looking glass, bizarre country do we live in where a sermon denouncing war and violence can have the church in which it was given in face the treat of losing tax exempt status for engaging in politics while the reactionary religious right flagrantly act as nothing more than a subsidiary of the Republican party and not only are not held to the same standards but are actually encouraged through the funneling of tax payer funded graft under the guise of the administion’s prized Faith Based Initiative programs.

As the biblical parable states, Jesus will divide his sheep from the goats amongst them, he also dispenses some very good wisdom about prayer:

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say to you that they have their reward.”

“But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly”

That’s Matthew: 6, Verses 5; 6 – so go and look it up.

While I not a theologian, I do understand very clearly that the true message of Jesus Christ does not happen to include advocating for greed, bigotry, war, murdering brown skinned children or neglecting the poor which are all not coincidentally some of the traits of the mutant fundamentalist version of Christianity that is pimped by false prophets in three piece suits and a card in Karl Rove’s rolodex. Christ seemed to think that it was not necessary to be seen amongst others in order for the worship of the lord to be legitimate, in fact the verse that I referred to above states exactly the opposite.

But in America today it is obvious that those goats that brayeth the loudest have replaced the humble sheep in the grazing order, especially when it comes to feeding at the public trough and most specifically in the taxpayer subsidized ‘goat barns’ that are the huge mega-churches that are popping up along thy fruited plain nearly as rapidly as Wal Mart superstores.

Of course in order to get the money for one of these great and shiny temples where concerts and light shows extol the ‘virtues’ of God, capitalism, militarism and nationalism there as always is a quid pro quo. They must in return disseminate and perpetuate the message of Republican party propagandists in order to keep the flock focused on the true task at hand which is to attack phantom enemies like gays, judges and liberals while acting as a proxy army for corporatism and the agenda of the wealthy.

This brings to mind the following dialogue from the movie Pale Rider between Clint Eastwood’s ‘Preacher’ who champions the poor local miners and the corrupt town boss ‘LaHood’ (obviously a Republican) who is trying to screw them by initially trying to swindle them and then ultimately hiring his thugs to force them to leave their gold rich land so that he could bring in his strip mining operation.

LaHood: “It occurred to me it must be difficult for a man of faith to carry the message on an empty stomach, so to speak I thought why not invite this devout and humble man to preach in town? Why not let the town be his parish? In fact why not build him a brand-new church?”

Preacher: “I can see where a preacher’d be mighty tempted by and offer like that.”

LaHood: “Oh, indeed.”

Preacher: “Then he’d be thinking about getting himself a batch of new clothes..”

LaHood: “We’d have them tailor made”

Preacher: “Then he’d start thinking about those Sunday collections.”

LaHood: “Hell, in a town as rich as this one that preacher’d be a wealthy man.”

Preacher: “That’s why it wouldn’t work, can’t serve God and mammon both. Mammon being money”
 

America’s mega-church moguls have no such qualms over taking mammon, in fact the more mammon the more message that the GOP can expect from the grand temples that serve as political halls. Unlike Clint Eastwood’s humble preacher the pastors and preachers of the religious right and it’s affiliates perform astride stages in venues the size of small arenas to the accompaniment of light and special effects shows that would be the envy of a heavy metal rock band on a world tour. They adorn themselves with the finest in tailored finery and wallow like hogs in pools of taxpayer dollars funneled in by Bush’s programs. If more on the right had some consistency in their ideology they might come to call this for what it is: Christian Socialism.

This politicizing of the churches ends up driving the smaller houses of worship out of business due to their inability to compete with the extravaganzas presented by their competitors in the well-heeled and not coincidentally much whiter suburbs. The ones that suffer most are the residents of the inner cities and the poor whose lives depend on the organizing power and moral examples of the small churches that truly seek to perform humanitarian deeds in the name of the lord while preaching the real gospels of Christ and don’t demand their congregation to make calls or write letters to their congressmen threatening retaliation if they don’t discriminate against others or take stances that further contribute to the corrosive corruption and coarsening of our society.

Well, here’s a great idea to cut into massive national debt as well as to allow all who benefit from citizenship to have the great feeling of contributing their fair share: start taxing the churches. Not all churches of course but the `tax cheat’ false churches that serve as political organs of the Republican party need to be immediately stripped of their tax exempt status. By using their pulpits as a forum for polemics, making congregation lists available to party operatives, laundering money and waging war on the concept of the separation of church and state, therefore becoming political organizations and they should render unto Caesar that which is his or if we are to believe that we still live in a functional democracy more precisely ours. Tax breaks for biblical theme parks like the massive abomination called Holyland where according to a St. Pete Times story one can experience:

“A biblical theme park in Orlando where guests pay $30 admission to munch on “Goliath” burgers and explore reproductions of 2000-year-old tombs and temples could get a property tax exemption written into state law”

 

The owners of these all too common turnstiles to apostasy also need to be kicked off of the government dole, how hypocritical that the same moneychangers who seek to eliminate the hated welfare state sing a different hymn when the entitlements are being funneled into their pockets and not the pockets of the poorest and the most disadvantaged amongst us who Christ himself championed.

And I would like somebody to tell me just how biblically correct that chowing down on a fucking Goliath Burger is.

Republicans Vs. Jesus

“He that is without sin among you, let him cast the first stone..”

Jesus Christ

Quite possibly the only thing on the planet that is more gut-wrenchingly nauseating than seeing an endless parade of Republican chickenhawks painting their fucking fingers purple, wrapping themselves in the flag and braying their approval for sending poor bastards off to die ostensibly in the service of their country in a foreign land (while most of those gutless scum ever even bothered to wear the uniform themselves) it is their sheer blasphemy and callous disregard for exploiting Jesus Christ himself to mount their jihadist terrorist assault on the United States of America. The idiots in Congress are only the standard bearers for those who are the far more nefarious puppeteers behind the movement to replace democracy with theocracy.

The Republican party and the religous zealots who effectively control it have hijacked the Christian religion and have transformed Jesus Christ into a ‘new and improved’ product that can be sold to the flocks of consumers who regularly pack their goat barns or as they are more commonly known, their mega-churches. This label comes from the biblical parable puts it that Jesus will divide his sheep from the goats amongst them, he also dispenses some very good wisdom about prayer:

“And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. Verily I say to you that they have their reward.”

“But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly”


That’s Matthew: 6, Verses 5 and 6 by the way, look it up. I am not exactly a biblical scholar or theologian but it seems to me that Christ is alluding to the fact that it is not exactly necessary to run down and join your neighborhood mega-church in order to curry favor with God, you can actually save a bit of coin on the gas and retreat to your own cramped closet at home to offer up prayers. I know that the militant fundamentalist ‘Christians’ have this connotation that closets somehow are equated with homosexuality which according to their radical clerics must be eradicated but it just seems to me that Jesus is actually calling out those who gather in temples of worship to be seen is a form of hypocrisy. It’s a shame that the true teachings of Jesus Christ the prophet, liberal and he who preached compassion towards the downtrodden is so often eschewed in favor of the vengeful, materialistic, warmongering character that the fanatics of the Religious Right have transformed him into for their own benefit. I mean when was the last time that James Dobson, Timothy LaHaye, Jerry Falwell or for that matter George W. Bush took the time to wash the feet of a poor man?

GOP Jesus, the gay-hating, free-market preaching, Social Darwinist avenger who now pilots a fighter jet because his more traditional donkey was unable to carry enough incendiary devices or precision guided bombs to drop on brown skinned children rules the mega-churches. He is a staunchly pro-American warrior and those who proudly display their little yellow ‘support the troops’ ribbon magnets on their gas guzzlers as a tribute to GOP Jesus are legion, hell I even saw a sticker the other day with an angry looking Christ with blazing eyes and a broadsword, what in the fuck ever happened to “blessed are the peacemakers”? Probably the same thing that happened to the blessed meek who were to inherit the Earth, the dogma of GOP Jesus is summed up by the harlot of hate Ann Coulter who once said: “Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It’s yours”.

GOP Jesus also disdains the causes and care of the poor and downtrodden who were the biggest concern for Jesus Christ for the praise of the wealthy who delight in the accumulation of earthly treasures which are all the better to show how successful and blessed by God that they are to their fellow ‘goat barn’ members. Earthly possessions are not a burden to holiness as Christ seemed to indicate when he said in the book of Matthew (3:19-3:21):

Lay not up yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal. For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.

The religious right instead has a far more Calvinist style view in that God bestows favoritism through materialism, this meshes very nicely with capitalism and it’s no wonder why the GOP’s holy warriors who serve as the palace guards for the elite who remain cloistered in their gated communities and Wall Street ivory towers have such a cozy, symbiotic relationship.

The coming holy war leading up to the November elections will be viciously fought and no quarter will be given, not with the providence of the Bush kingom of God on the line, Israel on the attack and the Middle East aflame, the rapture clock is nearing the long awaited moment. No, there is too much at stake now to not use the goat barns as garrisons for the soldiers of the army of GOP Jesus.

I can practically hear the shrillness of cornered animal Karl Rove desperately barking orders:

“Mobilize the Base! I want the abortion clinics and gay bars stormed, I want to see rubber fetuses on pitchforks, what the fuck is wrong with you people…don’t you understand what is at stake here?”

When it is all coming apart there is nothing like whipping up the masses of ignorant activist thugs with plenty of free time on their hands. These are the ones who comprise the standing army of the party base of the legions of hate. Millions of venom spewing, poisonous, regressive little toads who have been duped by megalomaniac televangelists and sleazy political operatives into supporting a party that conscripts them into a war against a phantom enemy and forces them to sell their souls as well as the very future of their children in order to wage total jihad for a cause that is the very antithesis of what Jesus Christ actually stood for.

The moral rot and corruption of the Republican party is anything but a just cause and it’s message much like Hitler’s proclamation of ‘Got Mit Uns’ distorts religion in order to pander to the basest of the evils and fears of humanity so as to allow them to justify anything in the name of what they have been fraudulently sold as the will of God.

The rise of the radical religious right in America and it’s takeover of the Republican party has a been the equivalent of watching a trainwreck in slow motion, unable to avert your eyes from the horrible scene.
The majority of our population of sheeple go about their daily lives while completely oblivious to the growing danger of the increasingly malignant cancer of radicalized fundamentalist religion that continues to metastasize through the body of secular, democratic society. The media being the craven corporate monolith that it is remains firmly in the corner of the administration, the neocons and the theocratic jihadists, fearful of any legislation favorable of monopoly being stalled or of any further deregulatory standards that would impede their profits being derailed. The media is also terrified of the sort of mass, well organized boycotts against their sponsors that would result in a loss of profits so they won’t touch the menace posed ty the theocrats with a two hundred foot long pole. The bastardized nature of their illicit union with the sad remnants of what was once the party of Abraham Lincoln and Theodore Roosevelt is as shameful as it is unholy.

And how preposterous it is for one of the world’s major religions to proclaim a mandate of superiority at the expense of others, to preach to the ignorant the gospel of providence. Does it not occur to the pathetic wretches that no one, person or religion has exclusive rights to God? The evangelical Christian movement in America uses good old fashioned jingoism and nationalism to reinforce their message of theocracy and exclusion, of hate and illusion. Christ warned about the danger of following false prophets who would be as goats among sheep as well as the ultimate fate of trees that bear bitter fruit but this does not hinder a movement indoctrinated to a particular militant translation of the gospel and scriptures

Then again, this movement is not about God, it is not about morality, it is not about Christ, it is about raw institutional power, to ever believe anything else is foolishness. A good look at the Texas Republican Party platform is a glimpse at the Mein Kampf of our modern times. It is a playbook that Karl Rove will be using almost exclusively in the coming days as he launches a scorched earth campaign to distract and deceive and chart a course out of the wilderness for the unholy administration of emperor Bush and his besieged minions. Make no mistake, these people are the enemy within and are determined to overthrow the legitimate government, re-write the constitution through legislative terrorism and judicial fanaticism and enforce their cruel extremism on all who are not members of the cult.

Rove is now massing his army for an all out assault and the hell with whatever the damage ultimately may be, then again when in the hell have the America haters on the extremist right ever cared?

Were Christ to return to earth tomorrow he would be decried as a treasonous liberal by the GOP state controlled media, would be denounced as a long haired, anti-American peacenik who supports the terrorists, hates freedom, is a commie and is unpatriotic. Then after the electronic crucifixion would be arrested as an enemy combataant and would be just another Middle-Eastern man in an orange jumpsuit locked up in a tiny cell in Gitmo.

You see, GOP Jesus and today’s Pharisees and moneychangers have successfully chased Jesus of Nazareth’s ass out of the temple and he sure as hell ain’t ever coming back as long as they have anything to say about it.

“We will fuck him. Do you hear me? We will fuck him. We will ruin him. Like no one has ever fucked him!”

-Karl Rove