Osama Stole O.J.’s Fake Beard

The frantic and overly hysterical reaction to the new ‘Osama Bin Laden’ video would be piss in your pants hysterical if things weren’t so serious with the drooling neocon lunatics kicking off the joint 9/11 -General Petraeus week of agitprop to bully the feckless Dems and the moronic public into backing for an attack on Tehran. As Frank Rich of the damned liberal New York Times put it in his latest column:

It will be all 9/11 all the time this week, as the White House yet again synchronizes its drumbeating for the Iraq war with the anniversary of an attack that had nothing to do with Iraq. Ignore that fog and focus instead on another date whose anniversary passed yesterday without notice: Sept. 8, 2002. What happened on that Sunday five years ago is the Rosetta Stone for the administration’s latest scam.

That was the morning when the Bush White House officially rolled out its fraudulent case for the war. The four horsemen of the apocalypse — Cheney, Rumsfeld, Powell and Rice — were dispatched en masse to the Washington talk shows, where they eagerly pointed to a front-page New York Times article amplifying subsequently debunked administration claims that Saddam had sought to buy aluminum tubes meant for nuclear weapons. “We don’t want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud,” said Condoleezza Rice on CNN, introducing a sales pitch concocted by a White House speechwriter.What followed was an epic propaganda onslaught of distorted intelligence, fake news, credulous and erroneous reporting by bona fide journalists, presidential playacting and Congressional fecklessness. Much of it had been plotted that summer of 2002 by the then-secret White House Iraq Group (WHIG), a small task force of administration brass charged with the Iraq con job.

Today the spirit of WHIG lives. In the stay-the-surge propaganda offensive that crests with this week’s Congressional testimony of Gen. David Petraeus and Ambassador Ryan Crocker, history is repeating itself in almost every particular. Even the specter of imminent “nuclear holocaust” has been rebooted in President Bush’s arsenal of rhetorical scare tactics.

At Dick Cheney’s behest to trump up the case for nuking Tehran the brain trust behind the Republican Battle of the Bulge is going for the pincer strategy. On one end there are the usual filthy fascist fifth columnists who have for too long poisoned the national discourse with their propaganda, their hijacking of Jesus Christ and their incessant hatemongering and racist cant towards anything even remotely Muslim. Coming at America from the other side the neocons have managed to dig up the bogeyman himself Osama Bin Laden who remarkably in addition to being the biggest baddest global villain on the planet has managed to actually get younger as time passes. What the hell is this, Imhotep in Mummy III? Of course Dumbmerica buys this reeking, overstuffed bag of bullshit lock, stock and barrel like the good little fearful lemmings that they are supposed to be.

‘Bin Laden’ deviates from his standard jihadist language talking points against the infidels to rant against capitalism, Christianity and the whole litany of all that has been pimped as American since the days when the elitists and the looters discovered Edward Bernays who would become of the utmost of importance in peddling the big lie that capitalism and democracy are one and the same. Note the sly insertion of a denunciation of capitalism into his repertoire, this newest bug up the bogeyman’s ass couldn’t come at a better time to rally the masses of now jobless Americans around a failing system that has been sucked dry by Wall Street shylocks, scam artists and the other bloodsucking products of Reagan’s shitheel generation. One hand washes the other when it comes to the blood barters and the looters who to all but the most imbecilic, knuckle-dragging dittohead dopes and peckerwood nation rubes are as thick as thieves, kind of like the Bushes and the Bin Ladens but that is another story for another time.

Well the funniest thing is that the entire thing is so ludicrously over the top that it appears that the little gremlins in the psy ops chop shops have completely fucked up with this blantant overreach that is wider than Larry Craig’s stance when he’s trolling for cock in airport toilet stalls. According to the Independent in this marvelous story that the title tells it all: Video shows Bin Laden ‘in False Beard’ which in any mormal country would be the proverbial turd in the party punchbowl rather than the trumping up of this ludicrous fraud on the Sunday morning bloviation circuit. From the Independent piece:

In a banner ad for the video, the al-Qai’da leader, now aged 50, looked fit, with a full beard of dark black hair, rather than his usual grey-streaked beard. Instead of the customary combat jacket, he was wearing Arabic robes.

“It does look oddly as if he is wearing a false beard,” Richard Clarke, a former White House counter-terrorism official, said. “If we go back to the tape three years ago, he had a very white beard. This looks like a phoney beard that has been passed on.”

Passed on from O.J. Simpson? Now wouldn’t that be a hoot, especially if Alan Dershowitz turned out to be the middle man.

Fear Factor

BREAKING NEWS: CREDIBLE TERROR ATTACK THREAT IN NEW YORK

“Naturally the common people don’t want war; neither in Russia, nor in England, nor in America, nor in Germany. That is understood. But after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is to tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in any country”

-Hermann Goering

What fortuitous timing! Mere hours after the embattled George W. Bush gives a major speech in which he invokes 9/11 at least seven times from my brief count and the very same day that it is announced that Karl Rove has requested to make an additional appearance in front of the grand jury of Patrick Fitzgerald (very likely to rat out Libby/Cheney to save his own ass) the city of New York is thrown into mass chaos by an imminent terrorist threat to the subway system that was likely choreographed by the evil Morelocks in the basement of the Pentagon.

Only fools believe in coincidence, especially if there is an abundance of such to the point where it verges on becoming a simple commodity like pork bellies.

Let’s just hope that if something blows up this time that there is an actual serious investigation while the perpetrators’ trail is still hot, unlike after the September 2001 attacks when a shocked nation caved in to cower in the shadow of an faux almighty leader seeking protection rather than to take a real hard look at the glaring inconsistencies in the official account and to ask the hard questions that needed to be asked, then again who but the most hardened and cynical could ever be capable of dealing with the ugly answers?
This morning, in an effort to revive the halcyon days of his divine reign the king did what all others do after jumping the shark and staring into the face of a career that is rapidly circling the drain: he put out his greatest hits. In a major speech, the artist formerly known as ‘the war president’ sought to regain his holy mantle while trying to leave an abysmal two months of political catastrophe receding into the rancid past as so much toxic sewage being pumped out of the ruined city of New Orleans. With the rubber fetus crowd in full revolt over the surprise nomination of longtime Texan crony Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court and a rumors of a flurry of indictments that could be heading towards the White House like a plague of angry locusts as early as next week it was time to once again resort to old trustworthy: 9/11. The WTC attacks and the resultant fear mongering, once the most kick ass club in the bag is now beginning to look more like the one great trick that a mongrel dog used to be able to perform much to the delight of it’s owner but in time, after the allure wore off and it became apparent that it was the only thing that the goddamned wretched beast was able to do with any degree of competence it became sad and pathetic and that euthanasia would be both more economical as well as more humane than feeding and housing the fucking thing for the remainder of its useless days. The pathetic beast is the Bush administration and it is time to put it out of its misery. If nothing else, the recent woes of GWB have proven that he is not only a fuck up but a majestic fuck up at that and he is all ours to proudly display to the world. If the man were born to a different family he would be managing a Whattaburger in Waco. In a time when the two most recognizable figures in America are George W. Bush and Michael Jackson perhaps it would be better to euthanize the entire nation to end the ongoing agony of our collective shame.

Dick and Karl’s 3 card monte trick has performed wonders in the past at the times when it became necessary to distract and disorient a craven public heavy with imbeciles. Then the terror alert color chart became a joke and Tom Ridge became a laughingstock and eventually the fear factor was used to the point where the junta could no longer count on fooling most of the people all of the time or otherwise get them to piss down their legs in deference to the almighty strong daddy of the national domicile. This time the ante had to be upped drastically, with an impending legal catastrophe that will make Watergate seem like shoplifting a pack of gum looming on the horizon and the entire Republican money laundering network facing the prospect of being outed it is time for the double reverse flea flicker: an actual terrorist attack? Or just more fear mongering? the next few days will tell the tale and if independent contractors or covert operatives actually succeed in pulling off any kind of serious job that would allow the Bush administration thugs to invoke martial law (a trial balloon that was conveniently floated a few days back in reference to a quarantine in the event of a pandemic) and roll out the USA PATRIOT ACT II then myself and a hell of a lot of others are going to likely end up at Gitmo or whatever other gulags that they have set up for enemies of the state and unless the joint is equipped with WI FI then my blogging days are numbered.

Desperation isn’t pretty and it’s getting damned close to outright panic time in the Cheney bunker, if he were any kind of a man at all he would simply pop a cyanide capsule along with Rummy and then demand that their remains be burned and hidden in an undisclosed location so as to keep suspicions alive that they were really weren’t dead and could resurface again at any time like vengeful doppelgangers to seek bloody revenge against those who did not fulfill their duty to der homeland. After today’s surprise announcement of his unscheduled grand jury appearance Karl Rove should ask to be placed under protective custody or into the witness protection program, suspicions will surely be very high among a neo con death cult faced with life in prison at the very least were there to be a chain reaction of revelations to come out of the Plame case that could lead to who knows where but it is nearly a damned certainty that the rare charge of treason would rear its ugly head and that my friends is a death penalty offense that could have Cheney and his ilk gassed like the rats that they are.

If Rove weren’t such an arrogant, pompous, conflicted, corrupt and outright evil stinking sack of snakeshit then maybe it would be possible to actually pity the man. Obviously lacking the genetics of a potential ruler this pudgy little wunderkind gone badly awry had to latch onto a malleable, well bred cretin in order to fulfill his great dream of becoming President and he actually managed to pull it off, although not without the accompanying baggage of the other parasites like the crazed neoconservatives, the Reaganite neoliberal free market zealots and the fanatical theocrats who also hopped a ride along the host. Now like the predators that they all are they cannot coexist without becoming cannibals and ripping at each others flesh. Rove, once the ‘boy genius’ has now become an inversion of King Midas, everything that he touches turns to shit. The vaunted right wing coalition is coming apart like a Texas cowpie implanted with a firecracker and yesterday’s contentious closed-door sessions over the Meirs nomination were as butt ugly as waking up next to a border town hooker after a weeklong Tequila binge. Radical religious power brokers like Paul Weyrich and the acolytes of Phyllis Schlafly screeched betrayal at outnumbered White House lackeys who were under the threat of being beaten with foam rubber decalogues in an ugly melee that could have broken out at any minute in the tension drenched atmosphere. Hell hath no fury like those scorned who are used to having their holier than thou asses kissed in fawning deference and the naming of Meirs over a Roy Moore type ideologue who would have represented the shining jewel in the holy grail of a decades who would lead the throng to deliverance after a three decade long theocratic movement was sacrilege. The unspoken eleventh commandment of ‘thou shalt keep thy lips applied to the derrieres of the loyal flock’ was broken and there would be hell to pay. Everything was working according to plan with Trojan Horse ideologue John Roberts ascendency to chief justice and another reactionary God squadder in the wings but with the once unforeseen possibility of legal accountability looming like the angel of death over the White House it suddenly became necessary to stack the court with loyalists who will come in handy in the event that impeachment and criminal trails come to pass. Rove and Bush did what any scoundrel would do when confronted with the same descision, fuck the principles, fuck the movement, outrun the women and children on the way to the lifeboats and save your own ass.

Americans are restive, SUV’s are as obsolete in the current reality of 3 dollar a gallon gas and a looming heating oil crisis as are yellow support the troops magnetic ribbons in the reality of an Iraq quagmire that racks the Chinese credit cards on a daily basis. The true believers are uneasy and patriotism has become almost passé these days as the jingo spouting nationalists of the recent past are faced with skyrocketing household costs, carpooling, Hamburger Helper instead of Outback and Chilis and insurance rates that threaten to multiply exponentially in the aftermath of two financially devastating Gulf hurricanes in three weeks. Today’s orchestrated, Bush war mongering speech along with the timely terrorist alert hours later are going to allow us to see once and for all whether the bully pulpit can be counted on to whip up the ‘us or them’ siege mentality and get the blood of the faithful boiling for a good ole Christian vs Muslim crusade or whether it is time for the entire criminal bunch to just punt the fucking ball, throw themselves on the mercy of the courts and beg for forgiveness.

What would Jesus Do?

“We will never back down, never give in and never accept anything less than complete victory” thundered Bush this morning in Washington.

Those are the best damned words of advice that he has ever uttered and the American public should use them as a rallying cry to declare total war on the infidels in the White House.